Author's notes: WARNING: NC 17, DEATHFIC, LEMON, DARKFIC,
When I first saw the 20xx Zetsuai video I thought heck, this story somehow isn’t finished. A little while later I started to write this fanfic which takes up where the video ends. If you haven’t seen the video itself it might be a little difficult to understand what is going on and if you’ve seen it .... it might be difficult as well ^^;;;Ok, let’s say it straight away: this isn’t a happy fic. It contains lemon, rape and a person commonly known as evil AU Koji, meaning that all other sorts of nasty things occur. If you are easily offended for heaven’s sake, don’t read this!! *makes shooing movements with her hands*Everyone else just go on and read :)
"Take them away."
I wave dismissively at two of my female pets, just wanting them to disappear. This one here is just so much more interesting.
"I don't care what you do with them just take them away."
The girls wail and beg for mercy but I just smile and shrug, watching my robot guard drag them out of my suite. I won't miss them. Once we are alone I turn to you again and free you of your electronic bonds, smiling at the way you immediately stretch your cramped limbs. You've been remarkably quiet during these last few hours but that's what you should be like, considering your present position. Still, I'd like to see a little spirit when I mark my claim.
Absentmindedly I touch the sore spot at my hip where you've stabbed me. Outwardly there's nothing to be seen thanks to the self-healing system that has been established in my body not too long ago but curiously the pain remains. Probably to remind me that even I am not immortal.
"Now what should I do with you, I wonder…?"You still don't say a word, looking at me with empty eyes. How unnerving. I lean over you and kiss you, biting your lip to force your mouth open. Now you react, hands pushing vainly against my chest. So weak - at this rate you will never defeat me. Nevertheless there is something about you that has captured my attention - my desire. You allure me, stronger than anyone I've ever met before. If you were one of us I might have even made you my mate. Well, as it is I'll make you the only thing a mere human can be to me - a slave. A sex slave at that.
You shiver ever so slightly as I run my fingers over your thigh, unwillingly reacting to my touch. So pure. Unable to hide anything you feel. A pureness that is mine to ravage. I kiss you once again, brutally bruising your lips. Those too are mine. You turn your head away, trying to escape my touch. How disobedient.
I backhand you across your left cheek, sending you to the floor. I will tolerate none of this. You submit or you die. Obviously you've chosen to submit since you don't resist as I pull you back up again, tearing your shirt open and baring your chest. Good.
But you are beautiful. My fingers slide over your smooth bronze skin, worshipping every inch of it. Such flawless beauty is so rare these days. I lower my head to your chest and start to suck one of your nipples, enticing a reluctant moan. You taste sweet little angel, so very sweet. Smiling viciously I bite hard enough to draw blood, teeth marring that small nub of flesh. This too tastes delicious. Reveling in your moans of pain/pleasure I slowly kiss my way down your body, now and then taking a playful bite. You struggle briefly as I pull your legs apart but chose to ignore it for now, too eager to move on to let myself be distracted by such minor disturbances.
"No… no, please don't…"Surprised I lift my head, looking at you tear streaked face.
"What did you just say?"
"Stop… please…"Once again you've turned your head away, pressing your cheek into the cushions. Trying to hide from me?
"And why would I stop?"
Defeated you close your eyes, obviously not daring to say any more.
"Look at me when I'm talking to you!"
You flinch as I grab your chin and force you to look at me, fearful dark eyes wide open. But there's still defiance in those eyes… those beautiful eyes. Keeping my gaze locked with yours I reach down between your legs, fondling your hardening length. Your body reacts to my touch little angel - despite the pain, despite the humiliation it reacts and it just loves it. YOU just love it. My lips travel down your body again, occupying now already familiar territory. I bet you hate me for doing this. And now to the main course. With a sigh I bury my head between your legs, inhaling your fragrance. My cheek is nestled against your erection, rubbing sensually against it. I'm not doing this to pleasure you - no, not that. It's just that I want to get to know each part of your body, want to explore every inch of it until I know it better than you know it yourself - you are mine now and I want to know what is mine.Pushing your legs up and out of the way I move lower, licking at the soft skin behind your scrotum. I smile a little as I hear your soft moans, trying to sneak my tongue past your tight entrance. Your hips buck violently, almost smashing my face in the process. Impertinent! Furiously I pull back, smacking you across your thighs.
"Who allowed you to move?!"
Just to stress my point I slap you again, somewhat liking the red marks it leaves on your otherwise flawless skin.
"Lie down. And this time don't move no matter what I do. Otherwise…"I smile wickedly and take hold of your penis, squeezing hard enough to hurt you a little. Your eyes widen with terror and you nod frantically but I just tighten my grip even more, taking delight in your pain and fear. I could destroy you now little angel, break your wings for good. When I finally let go of you, you sob in relief, making me laugh a little. What little self-control you have. And you call yourself a soldier? Well, at least you've stopped moving. Now then, let's get going and see how fast you learn.
Brushing my fingertips over your sweat slick chest I tease your nipples back into hardness, briefly rubbing them with my thumbs. Your breaths quickens considerably before I even reach your groin, showing me clearly just how much you enjoy this. Frivolous, aren't we? Now that you refrain from moving even the slightest bit I consider it a personal challenge to try and make you. I wonder how long it will take…Already thinking about what kind of punishment I could inflict upon you after your inevitable failure I continue to tease you, alternating soft butterfly touches and firmer strokes. But you do better than expected. Maybe there's a little bit of a warrior in you after all. Be that as it may, I'm growing tired of this game. Getting no response at all is boring beyond measure. Well, then maybe pain will do. Smiling maliciously I rake my fingernails across your chest, leaving furious red welts to go along with the bite marks from before. Soon your torso is covered with crimson streaks, blood trickling from several spot. Such sweet blood…Finally the pain is too much for you to bear and you lift your arms to keep me from striking again, probably arguing that no punishment could be as bad as this. How wrong you are little boy. But you've done well so I decide to forget get about it for now and just go on fucking you. I lean down and lick a few traces of blood from your chest. Sweet. Standing up, I step away, looking down at you with cold eyes.
"Very well boy. Onto your hands and knees. Immediately."
Whimpering you struggle to obey, forcing your already tired body to get into position. I smile contently as you're finally kneeling in front of me, small shivers shaking your body. I make you spread your legs a little wider and push your shoulders into the mattress, walking around the bed to get a better look at my handiwork. Really pretty.
Sitting down I watch you for a little while, marveling at the way your muscles tremble at the strain to keep your ass in the air. Mmmh…Absentmindedly I open my pants, unable to keep my eyes off you. I'm gonna take you now little boy. Right now.
Standing up again, I position myself behind you, the tip of my engorged member nudging against your entrance. Oh, this will feel SO good. Pressing forward I enter you with one smooth thrust, holding your hips in place as you try to escape the pain this causes you. I pull out until only the tip of my penis remains in you then shove back in, smiling as I hear your pained little scream. Eyes narrowing I concentrate on my timing, deliberately shoving all the harder into you. But soon I'm not able to hold back any longer and establish a pounding rhythm, loving the way your muscles clamp around me, trying to push me out. So tight. Finally I can't keep up my impassive mask any longer and my lips draw back in a feral snarl. Ecstasy is cursing through my body, an overwhelming flood of hormones triggering the most delighting sensations. For the fracture of a second my penis in your body swells even more, shooting its load into your reluctant body. Nice.
Pulling away I notice that you've fainted, your unconscious body slumping onto the mattress as soon as I no longer support it. Ah, but you've come, haven't you? Chuckling softly I touch the sticky white fluid on your chest and stomach, licking it off my fingers afterwards. Salty.
Sighing I look down at your sleeping face, once again wondering what that vision could mean. That vision. A boy looking exactly like you, holding some kind of ball in his hands. A boy I seemed to recognize though I can't imagine why. I'm sure I've never met you before. And why are you making me feel such strange things? There are moments when I feel like I have to protect you, cherish you, be gentle and tender - pitiful urges I immediately cover up with the utmost cruelty. Those feelings… they irritate me - almost scare me - and yet I want to find out more about them, find out why they are there. I can't understand why I feel such things at all - my self preservation system should be filtering them - blocking them. I can't understand…Two parts of my mind are warring inside of me. One wants me to kill you immediately to extinguish the possible threat these feelings might represent but the other tells me to wait and find out more about them, arguing that the knowledge about them might prove useful someday. Up to now my curiosity was stronger.
But enough of this. I have other tasks to attend to. Straightening my clothes I exit my suite, telling the guard to leave its post under no circumstances until I'm back.
"And see to it that a healing unit looks after my new slave. I want his wounds to be healed as long as he's still unconscious."
With a small scream I wake up abruptly, finding myself sitting upright in a big bed. God, what a dream to have…I was in an old fashioned flat and HE was there as well, looking slightly different but unmistakably he. He was attacking me again and there was blood and… and… and then I found myself in this other nightmare that is called reality.He is here, watching me, I can feel it. I try to move further away and to my surprise it doesn't even hurt. I'm even more surprised when I don't find any bruises or wounds as I look down my body. But he has hurt me yesterday, badly. I'm sure of it so why…?"I had someone heal your wounds while you were asleep. I wouldn't want that beauty to be marred, would I?"
He's walking over to me and I find myself frozen in terror, paralyzed by horror I experienced yesterday. I have to move! I have to get away! He isn't even close enough to stop me now!! But then he's standing right in front of me, grabbing my chin with one hand to make me look up at him. His face is expressionless even as he runs the fingers of his other hand through my hair.
"Do you have any idea what is going to happen to you now?"
I shake my head no despite his tight grip around my chin, looking frightened into his cold eyes.
"Well, unfortunately you are too old to undergo the usual slave training program so you and I will have to stick to my own personal… methods. In fact I don't think this is so unfortunate after all - I wouldn't like to have to give you to someone else even if it was just for training."He's smiling now, scaring me even more. So what's that sick bastard planning? I don't think I even want to know.
"So, basically there's only one thing you need to know: You are mine, body and soul - everything about you."
He leans down and kisses me, tightening his grip around my chin to force my mouth open. He doesn't pull back as he continues to talk, lips mumbling against my mouth.
"You will obey each of my commands. You will eat only when I tell you to, you will sleep only when I allow it and you will find pleasure only at my hands."
Still kissing me one of his hands moves down to my member, squeezing it. No!! I don't want him to touch me!! Once again I'm somewhat paralyzed, unable to do anything to stop him. Then he pulls back a little and runs one of his long, sharp fingernails over my throat, smiling maliciously at the red streak this undoubtedly leaves on the tender skin of my neck.
"If it is my will you will even stop breathing. Just like this…"Finally he lets go of me and steps back, obviously intending to leave me alone.
"Well, for now you will stay here so make sure to learn fast, will you?"
Fresh tears start to stream down my face as that … that THING he has put into me starts to move again, sending a new wave of pain/pleasure through my already agonized body. And he has left me alone - just gone away and said that I should think about what I have done. How am I supposed to think with that THING in me?! I didn't know I was doing anything wrong! When they brought the food I assumed I was supposed to eat it! I didn't know he really meant it when he said I had to wait for his permission, so please!!!!!!I twist helplessly but one position is as bad as the other. The thing is still moving, rotating and stretching inside of me, metallic tendrils wrapped tightly around my thighs and the base of my cock, making this situation even more unbearable. I'm hot, unbearably hot and in pain and I just can't come. I CAN'T COME!!!
Manacles attach my wrists to the bedpost, rendering me completely helpless. By now I've given up on all self restraint and swallowed my pride, begging and screaming for him to come back and release me. I bet the sick bastard is standing right in front of the door and listening to my wails. Please, I'd do anything!! ANYTHING!!!
Hours seem to pass until he finally reappears and sits down beside me, smiling as if nothing had happened.
"Well, well, seems like you've learnt your lesson, haven't you?"
I nod under tears, writhing in desperation to get that thing out of me. At least it has stopped moving - for now. It is some kind of electronic device, designed to start and stop moving on a regular basis. It will start again soon … unless he decides to take it out of me first. Not daring to plead any further I just look up at him, hoping that he will answer my silent begging. I can't help but moan as he pinches one of my nipples, my body suffering an acute overload of sensations. Please!!"Good boy, I will free you of it but I seriously advise you to remember what you have learnt today - the next time you won't get away this easy."
Yes! Yes, anything but please, take it out of me! For a moment things grow even worse as he pushes one of his fingers into me along with the thing but as soon as he switches it off and the tendrils release their grip around my aching member, I could have sobbed in relief. With a smacking noise the thing finally slips out of me, making me sob for real. I'm feeling empty now, realizing that I'm still far from release.
A knowing smile on his face, he leans down to kiss me, slipping his tongue into my mouth. Gods yes… I arch up in a frantic attempt to get him to touch me but he just chuckles and pulls back, avoiding me."Spread your legs."
Meekly I do as he says, hoping that he will grant me release soon if I obey fast enough. He is already rock hard, his huge erection aiming at my opening. In the next second he's between my legs, shoving brutally into my already sore anus. I suppress a small gasp of pain, afraid that it might displease him. I don't want to make him angry again. I clench my teeth as he starts to thrust into me, feeling my body being rocked back and forth. It hurts…But then he wraps his hands around my weeping member and the world sinks into a haze of pleasure. Even the pain starts to feel good. His long pale hair falls into my face, obscuring my sight. That vision… it is returning. A glowing light envelops his whole body, his artificial eye turning into a real one. I try to keep my eyes open, to see what his lips are trying to tell me but I'm about to reach the peak of pleasure. Can't… can't…With a sob I finally feel orgasm crashing over me, finding release in his hands. Seconds later I feel a gush of wet heat fill me, knowing that he has come as well. Good. As long as he finds pleasure with me I will stay alive. But… why do I want to live on?Now that the searing pain in my groin is taken care of my aching wrists become the focus of my attention, my weary mind unable to endure it for even one more second. Before I can stop myself the question is out.
"Could… could you please untie me?"His expression darkens instantly, making me want to bite my tongue for being such an idiot. I've pissed him off yet again.
"You are not to ask things of me. Maybe I was wrong and you haven't understood after all. Maybe I should put the Yantru back in. "
NO!! No, anything but that!! I blink in surprise as he actually unties me, releasing my wrists.
"You may sleep now."
I'm getting to know him better though I'm not exactly sure whether I'm pleased about this fact or not. At least now I know what to do and how to react when he's in one of his moods. Right now he is relatively peaceful, just sitting there and playing with my hair while listening to the reports of the last few hours. I've long stopped being embarrassed about being naked in front of strangers - how couldn't I after having not seen clothes for more than three weeks? Most of them don't even bother to look at me anyway - I'm nothing but a pet to them, something like a dog that is to be ignored by everyone but its master. Well, I don't care what they think - unlike him they aren't allowed to hurt me. He is the only one to whom I have to pay attention.
Resting my head against his thigh I listen impassively. My people would be jumping for joy if they knew even half of what I'm hearing here but there's absolutely no way I'm ever gonna be able to tell them so why even bother paying attention? What his hands are doing is of much more importance. He's stroking my neck now, putting one of his hands around it, choking me a little. I try to relax into his grip even as he cuts off my air supply, knowing that any sign of defiance would just make things worse. Unconditional surrender is the only way to appease him. After a few seconds his grip relaxes and I'm able to breathe again.
Obviously pleased with me he gently runs his thumb over my lower lip, allowing me to lick and suck it. Well, allow is maybe the wrong word - he just expects me to do so and accept what he thinks is a honor.
All of a sudden he sighs, exasperated, and waves the messengers away, obviously not inclined to continue this meeting. I pretend not to notice this change of situation and just continue teasing his fingertip, gently grazing my teeth over it. He likes to think that he's the only thing on my mind. He looks down at me and I move to kneel between his legs without being told, offering myself to him. I can feel his gaze on my back but he isn't doing anything. I try not to move to avoid giving the impression of being impatient or questioning his motives. He is to decide what should be done - the very first thing he has taught me.
I obey without hesitation, turning and standing in front of him. He smiles a little and reaches up to pinch one of my nipples, rolling it between his fingers. I give a small moan, trying to show that I appreciate his efforts. And I really do. Even the least of his touches sends a rush of sensations through me though I couldn't say why. I've come to accept many things.
"Do you wish to receive pleasure?"
I blink helplessly at this question, unable to figure out what he wants me to say. This is new. I feel to have stepped back into the first days with him, those horrible days when I didn't know what to do to protect myself. Sometimes he is still hurting me, sure, but all in all he is treating me well, at least by their standards. That is, as long as I don't displease him.
But I'm hesitating, that's not good. I keep my eyes lowered to the floor, deciding that it is probably the best to just say something neutral though there is no telling how he will react to it.
"I wish anything you want me to."
He laughs amusedly at this answer and I allow myself a little smile, pleased to have said the right thing. This might as well have resulted in a catastrophe.
"Whatever I want, hmm? Well, right now I just want you to enjoy."
My eyes widen in surprise and pleasure as he wraps his hand around me. He… he means to… ? This too is new. Soon my breath is coming in shallow gasps, my head falling back while I struggle to remain standing. I mustn't fall down! I mustn't!!! He hasn't said that I was allowed to move.Sensations rage through me, making my body shake and tremble and my mind reel with pleasure. One of his fingertips presses against the small slit at the head of my penis, his other fingers restlessly moving up and down the shaft, making me want to scream. And those fingers are moving faster and faster, never giving me a chance to regain my composure, driving me closer and closer to the edge.
All of a sudden it is over. Unable to hold back any longer I scream and finally find release, legs buckling after all. Panting I find myself half sitting and half lying on the floor. When I look up at him I freeze in shock. God…I've come all over him, sticky, white seed splashed generously over his black uniform. I would have laughed if the situation wasn't that dangerous. For a moment I'm sure that he'll kill me for that.A few seconds pass and nothing happens. Maybe… maybe he isn't mad after all? Gods, I'll never understand him! If I as much as blink while he is talking to me he punishes me mercilessly and now that I've ruined one of his precious uniforms he just sits there and does nothing. But I am not to judge him so I modestly lower my gaze, not daring to stare at him openly any longer. He doesn't say anything but stands up and walks past me, ignoring me completely. So that's it, huh? I'm being ignored.Sighing I shift slightly, trying to find a more comfortable position. I'll have to stay here until he comes back and tells me that I'm allowed to leave. Best to just get some sleep as long as I've got the possibility. There's no telling when he'll leave me alone the next time and of course I can't just fall asleep in his presence unless he decides to take a nap as well. Closing my eyes I just doze off.
There's noise. People are shouting and trampling through the corridors, the quiet buzzing of energy weapons being fired filling the air. A fight. Waitasec, a fight?! That would mean that enemies managed to invade this fortress. No, not enemies - MY people. Whatever small hope has arisen in me is immediately squashed as the noise suddenly stops, being replaced by the now familiar voices of the robot guard reporting to my master.
Upset I stare down at my trembling hands. They have been captured. But why?! Why would they do something this crazy? A few minutes later my questions are answered. The door swings open and my master storms into the room, accompanied by several guards that drag the prisoners along. No, I… I know these boys - at least some of them. One of then has been my best friend - my only friend. Not Katsumi…Towering over me, my master stares into my face, scorn in his eyes."Do you know what they are? A rescue party! At least that's what they call themselves. A miserable excuse for a rescue party, that's what they are!! And now guess whom they came to rescue. Do you know?! Oh yes, little one, they came for you. Now what do you think I'm gonna do to those that tried to take you from me?"
I keep my head down during this whole speech, trying to hide the tears that are welling in my eyes. They're here because of me - to rescue a boy that no longer exists. I couldn't just go back to what I was before even if given the possibility - he has changed me too thoroughly for that. But he is scaring me - I've never seen him this way before. He was always cold, no matter what he did to me, but now… he seems to be on the verge of losing his temper. There's fury in his eyes. He snaps his fingers"Guard, over here. No, only one of them. Now kill him."
I press my eyes tightly shut as I hear the hiss of a sword cutting through air and flesh, not wanting to see what is going on.
He backhands me across the cheek, sending me to the floor.
"Open your eyes, slave. I want you to watch. The next one!"
Minutes later the floor is covered with blood and beheaded bodies. Katsumi is the only one left, staring empty eyed at the heap of flesh that was once his company. No, not Katsumi, he was my friend - not any of them! No!! No, no, no, no, no, no, no NOOOO!! Everybody's staring at me. Did I say something? At least my master seems to have calmed down a little, for his gaze is icy again. And it is directed at me. But he actually gestures for the guards to wait.
"So what is it about that one?"
I don't want to tell him but unfortunately this time he expects an answer. And I have to answer my master’s questions, don't I?"He… he was my friend before…""Your friend, huh? The brothel should be the right place for him, then. But… there's something I want him to see first. Take him to my suite for now. And clean this mess up - it is disgusting!"Grabbing my wrist he pulls me up and out of the room, away from Katsumi. But why does he want him in his suite?
Dazed I watch the blonde guy that is very obviously their boss drag Izumi out of the room, still unable to believe what I've just seen. They're dead… they're all dead. A hard shove against my shoulder takes me by surprise, making me stumble forward. They are pushing me towards a huge door and into an equally big room, leaving me without an explanation. It is gloomy in here and it takes my eyes a few seconds to adjust to this sudden lack of light but then I see him. It's the blonde again. He's sitting on a divan, legs crossed, Izumi sprawled gracefully beside him. Izumi… he's so different - completely unlike the person I've known before. He did nothing! Nothing…"You are Izumi's friend."It is a comment, not a question so I keep my mouth shut and just glare at that cold-hearted son of a bitch.
"Tell me, boy, what made you think that you could take him from me?"
Dammit, he's talking about him as if he wasn't even here! And why doesn't Izumi say anything?
"I thought it was worth a try."
I finally bite out between gritted teeth, hoping that my fear isn't too obvious. He smiles at my answer, obviously thinking me highly amusing. Wonderful.
"Did you ever get the idea that maybe he wouldn't even want to leave me? My little pet here seems to be quite content with where he is just now, doesn't he?"
I must look dumbfounded for he actually starts to laugh, eyes sparkling with cruelty. Even his laughter is cold, menacing. He enjoys humiliating me. My eyes widen as I realize what he's doing now - what Izumi allows him to do. He is touching him, long, slender fingers travelling down his spine to his firm buttocks.
The slight nausea I've been feeling all along is getting worse, my stomach turning at the sight of my friend being groped by that monster. Izumi doesn't seem to feel any such thing for he just closes his eyes and shifts slightly, giving him better access. Driven by some kind of sick fascination I don't avert my gaze but continue to watch. He… he is pushing one of his fingers into him, enticing a soft moan. By now I'm feeling almost sick enough to vomit. It is not that they're both males, not even what exactly he is forcing me to watch - it is the WAY he is doing it that makes me feel so bad about it. His gaze is fixed on me, a diabolical smile on his face. He is doing this to punish me though for what I can't quite imagine. I've never met him before and the attack I was leading - it was nothing personal, was it?"See, he objects to nothing I do - he even enjoys it! Do you still think that he would come with you?"Stubbornly denying the obvious I nod, unable to accept that he might be actually right.
"That doesn't mean anything! He has no choice but to endure your touch! That's not proof that he doesn't want to get away."
"A choice, huh? Very well boy, now let’s see what you say to this. Stand up, slave. Undress him."Unable to believe that he has just said what I think he has said I just stand there and blink as Izumi gets up and walks towards me, swiftly crossing the space between us. He… he won't actually do this, will he? He… he is my friend, he can't…!He keeps his gaze on the floor, stubbornly refusing to meet my eyes even as he's standing right in front of me. Shit, this isn't good!"Izumi? Izumi! Listen, you won't actually do what this idiot is telling you, will you? We're friends! I know you've had a tough time but you can't have forgotten about me, can you? I know you would never do something like this! Izumi?! Izumi, are you listening to me? Izumi!!"
Panicking I babble on and on, pleading with him - with both of them - to stop and let me go - anything but this!! However they don't stop and they definitely don't let me go. In the end I'm standing naked in front of them, a flush of humiliation spreading over my face. I'm too embarrassed to even talk any longer. Izumi who doesn't even seem to be aware of his own nudity turns to his 'master' again, obviously awaiting further commands. He will do anything that bastard tells him to, won't he?
"Bring him here."
I don't want to obey, I really don't want to but the blonde is gazing at me in a way that has shivers running down my spine - that combined with Izumi's urging hand on my back is enough to make me move. Slowly, step by step, I approach the divan, dreading what is lying ahead. Izumi is walking right beside me though given his recent behavior this is hardly reassuring. We stop only right in front of the blonde, his cold eyes sweeping up and down my body.
Then everything is happening awfully fast, strong hands seizing me and pulling me forward, tying my wrists together. He backs off as soon as I'm bound as if disgusted by the prospect of being close to me. Realization hits me like a hammer. HE won't touch me - he will have Izumi do it.
Suppressing a sob I cover my eyes with my forearm, unable to hide my fear any longer. Why?! I can't understand why he is doing this! He doesn't want me, he won't take pleasure in this act - I think he doesn't even like being in the same room as me. So why…?"Fuck him, slave. Now"I can feel Izumi's warm body behind me, his breath stirring my hair. Something is pressing against me, probing to find a way into me. Something? - no, not something. I know what it is. It is my friend's erection that is ripping me open, making me scream even as a bitter smile steals over my face. I never imagined anything could hurt so much. It hurts… it hurts so bad…Izumi is leaning over me, face resting against my back. I can feel him crying, his hot tears soaking my hair. HE is crying. I almost laugh at these twisted reactions. I'm the one supposed to be weeping but somehow I'm unable to shed even a single tear. Pain is tearing at me, making me want to scream. But I can bear it - I have to bear it. I won't give that bastard the satisfaction of hearing me scream.But as soon as he starts moving my resolve melts away, leaving me a whimpering bundle of boneless flesh. Izumi's slow, rocking thrusts are accompanied by a constant flow of tears - a flow that is even increasing as he's starting to shove harder, desire adding an edge to his movements. Using up the last of my strength I turn my head, looking straight into the blonde's eyes. I try to hold his gaze even as my body is shaken by the force of Izumi's thrusts and I'm too weak to even moan any longer, wanting to see what he is feeling. His expression is stoic but there is something in his eyes - anger? Izumi is starting to make noises now, small mewling moans that show that he is actually enjoying this. By now I don't even try to resist any longer, lying passively under him even as my body is screaming with agony. All of a sudden it is over and Izumi disappears - is being pulled away from me in fact though it takes a little for this fact to sink in. A new wave of dizziness sweeps over me as I hear Izumi giving a small scream, the blonde brutally throwing him against the wall. Now both of us are hurting…I try to blink my tears away as I feel my wrists being freed but don't move, lying prone on the divan. Why would I want to move? There's nothing I can do. The bastard is facing me, a small smile on his lips."Do you understand now, boy? You will never get him. He is mine - MINE!! Nobody will ever take him from me - especially not a child like you. We're finished now and pray that we never meet again."
He finally turns away, walking to the door to call the guard in. Yes, I'm very obviously finished.
"You may take him away now - I have no further use for him."
Rough hands grab me and literally drag me out of the room. My head is bumping onto the floor but I don't feel the pain, comfortable darkness settling around me.
Rage is still boiling in me even as the boy has long left the room - a rage I don't quite understand myself. We're in war after all - I shouldn't get so agitated about such a minor attack. And I should be able to contain my fur
Though killing these child soldiers definitely taught you a lesson it was a highly uneconomical thing to do. I should have made them work in the mines instead. Why kill people when you can have them work for you? And maybe also having you rape that boy was… inappropriate. I don't really regret what I have done - it is merely a faint tinge of unease. Just seeing you with someone else was highly disquieting. This too made me furious - very furious. For a moment I felt like killing both, you and the kid. I might as well have acted on this impulse and then…Wincing I realize that I've been staring at the closed door for almost a minute. The ache in my groin is still unrelieved, a constant reminder of what has just happened here. Well, let's do something about it, then. Thinking about what is already done is useless anyway - I couldn't admit that I've made a mistake even if I wanted to.I turn to you again, finding you sitting on the floor at exactly the spot where I've slammed you into the wall, looking at me with a mixture of fear and confusion. Yes, fear me, little one, this way you won't make the mistake to defy me.
I go and sit down on the bed, reluctant to come anywhere near that accursed divan. I will have it removed as soon as possible.
"Come here. No, don't stand up."
I smile, satisfied, as you obey without hesitation, gracefully crawling towards me and slipping between my spread legs. Yes, you are definitely well-trained.
You immediately lower your head to my groin, gently nuzzling my crotch before using your lips and teeth to pry my trousers open. Yes, you aren't allowed to use anything but your mouth … that sweet mouth of yours…I allow my head to fall back as I'm finally engulfed in wet heat, giving a moan of pure bliss. Tangling my fingers into your black curls I urge you to move faster, to swallow me deeper. Your helpless little gasps are muffled as I force myself deeper and deeper into your yielding mouth, ignoring the pained little sounds you make. Difficult to breathe like this, isn't it? I keep you down for about half a minute, allowing myself to revel in this exquisite pleasure. But I have to let you lift your head again, don't I? You'll suffocate if I don't. With a sigh I finally relax my grip, allowing you to pull back and breathe properly again.You immediately start to suck harder, probably afraid that I might resume pressing you down if I wasn't pleased with your performance. Ah, but you never fail to please me. Your tongue plays around the head of my cock, teasing me into further hardness. But I'm close - watching you do all those things to the boy had its effects on me despite the slight discomfort I felt. Soon… real soon… Moaning I feel my hips buck up one last time, releasing hot seed into your mouth. When the storm of sensations that has been thundering through me dies down I let you lift your head again, surprised to find tears streaming down your cheeks. You are crying? What a pathetic thing to do. So very … emotional. So very human.Nevertheless it is fascinating. Enthralled I touch the moisture on your face then lean down to lick at your damp cheeks. A helpless sob escapes from your bruised lips but you don't turn your head away. But why are you crying? Humans cry when they are trying to make somebody do something; humans cry when they are in pain but as far as I can see none of this applies to you."Why are you crying, slave?"
Your tears are flowing harder now, small sobs shaking your body. All of a sudden something inside me snaps. Giving a pained scream I curl into a tight ball, trying to analyze the source of these feelings. My technical equipment is shutting down, leaving my body crippled and unable to function properly. Hot waves of something I can't quite identify shoot through me, distracting me from trying to repair the damage. Concentrate…. I have to concentrate….There's light around me, too bright for my one, remaining eye to bear. I am in a strange white room, walls covered with what looks like tiles. You are here too, sitting on the floor under some kind of … shower? - yes, it is definitely a shower, small droplets of water raining down on you. And you are crying again, heart wrenching sobs making me run towards you. In the next second I'm holding you in my arms, muttering soothing words, water catching in my hair. When I look down my body I find that I'm perfectly human, all white skin and muscles but not an ounce of my metal anywhere near. But it is impossible - I can't live without my equipment. Your body feels so different… so much better now that I'm all flesh and bone again. Ah, and what I'm feeling. These… these things, these raw, feral things that are coursing through my body are emotions, aren't they? Now that I know the real thing I realize that that what I previously called feelings was nothing but a faint echo of what you must be experiencing every day - what every human must be experiencing. So intense… I… I love you, love you so much. I open my mouth to tell you but the tide of feelings still isn't decreasing, sweeping every coherent thought away. Now you are talking, your voice reverberating in my ears but I don't let go - I can't let go. Love. Protect. Tenderness. Possess. LOVE!!!It is over as fast as it has begun, my self-healing system taking over and restoring the other functions. So good to be able to breathe again.Looking up I find you staring at me, dark eyes wide open and visibly fearful. Probably you're worrying about what would happen to you if I died. Well, I don't plan on dying. But I don't understand what just happened. Why did I lose control over what should be now a part of my body? And those emotions… those emotions. I need to be alone. Glaring icily at you I summon all my authority, ordering you to immediately leave this room. This must be very confusing to you."What are you waiting for? Out!!"Okay, I've got calm down and forget about that stupid vision. First of all I need to find the reason for this breakdown and make sure that something like this never happens again. So what is this equipment there for? It enhances my five senses and heightens my physical and mental capacities. Basically it makes me stronger. And it keeps my mind from being clouded by those horrifying things humans call emotions.
By now I'm sure that this whole system breakdown is somehow related to you - to your tears. Wait a minute, tears are related to emotions. And my self preservation system filters emotions. What if it was some kind of … overload? Triggered by your tears the emotions my subconscious is constantly sending out grew too strong to be controlled any longer and according to its programming my sps (short for self preservation system) shut down. Yes, that makes sense. A simple overload of emotions - MY emotions? That would mean that the things I felt during that brief interlude without my sps were in no way part of that illusion but my own, unique emotions. But that's impossible! I can't love, can I?! Not really!! And my own emotions surely wouldn't scare me the way those did, would they? This is all a mistake, a horrible mistake! Probably this whole breakdown thing caused some confusion in my primary systems and that's why I felt those things. Now I all I have to do is forget that it ever happened. Just forget…
Nervously I rub my hands, looking down at the boy they have thrown into the room mere minutes ago. Oh, why do they always have to send me such difficult specimens?! A soldier! Soldiers are dangerous. I shiver slightly as I remember my own brief military interlude - or should I say the mess I made of it? At least I amused Nanjo-dono enough to make him give me this post.
Warily eyeing the boy I slowly circle him, contemplating what I should do with him. Now that I think about it he doesn't look that dangerous after all. More like a really, really frightened kid. Hesitantly I squat down, touching the boy's shoulder. He flinches and looks up at me for the first time, big blue eyes wide open and visibly fearful. Fearful? There's terror in those eyes. Wincing inwardly I grab the report on this kid, wanting to find out more about him. What could have caused such behavior? Usually prisoners that are sent here are a little frightened, a little sickly but never in such utter panic. I shouldn't have asked. Nanjo-dono had him. Poor boy. And how am I supposed to work with this material? Even if he got over this shock I seriously doubt that he will ever be able to fulfill his duties in a satisfying way. Damn that Nanjo-dono - what does he think he’s doing, sending such a traumatized kid to this place?!So what am I supposed to do? What am I supposed to do…? Oh, I can practically feel my self healing system release calming drugs into my blood. Okay, now I need the boy to stand up and get into his new room though I'm afraid this won't be easy."Boy? Hello, boy? Uhm, maybe you would want to get to your room now and, well, be alone? Boy? BOY?!"With a sob he throws himself into my arms, clinging to me as if I was his last hope. But… doesn't he know that I too am his enemy? He's crying again, face buried in my chest. I feel helpless in his embrace, unable to figure out how to react. It has been such a long time since anyone came close to me. Insecure I wrap my arms around the trembling body against me, hoping that it will soothe the boy. I wonder what his name is…Realizing that I'll never get the kid to move on his own I decide to lift him up, carrying him towards the slave quarters. I don't quite like the thought of treating him just like the other boys but knowing Nanjo-dono he'll surely check on what I've done with the kid and just thinking about what he might do to me should I displease him has me almost panicking. But at least I can see to it that he gets a pleasant room and a nice roommate - preferably a decent one. If memory serves there's an empty bed in Gunji's room.The boy is relaxing ever so slightly as I rub his back in a circular motion, blonde head resting against my shoulder. He's grown quiet during these last few minutes, almost as if he actually trusted that I won't hurt him. But I'll have to hurt him eventually, won't I?Fortunately the room is empty as I enter, Gunji probably out and serving some guests. I place the boy onto the unused bed, gently bedding his head onto the pillows. Those blue eyes are fixed on me again, a broken winged bird looking at its captor. Gulping nervously I notice for the first time the beauty this slender body holds despite all those cuts and bruises. He looks incredibly lost on the big bed, white skin against white sheets. All of a sudden those blue eyes waver and drift shut, tension draining out of his body. He's lost consciousness.
Fascinated I continue to stare down at the boy, taking in every detail of his sleeping face. He doesn't seem to be hurt too badly - at least not physically. Careful not to wake him I drape the sheets over him, finally covering his nudity. I feel a slight twinge of regret at the loss of this beautiful sight but immediately tell myself that it is not right to have such thoughts about a poor unconscious kid. But he IS beautiful.
Before I know what I'm doing I find myself leaning down, my mouth hovering mere inches over the boy's slightly parted lips. What am I doing? What am I…? His lips are soft under mine, yielding as I stroke my tongue against them. My head snaps up as I hear the sound of the door shutting. Gunji! Blushing I jump to my feet, unable to hide my embarrassment. Wait a second - why am I embarrassed? I'm the boss here, I can do as I please! Trying to look as dignified as possible I turn to the stammering slave, hoping to intimidate him enough to keep him from telling anybody about this. Oh, just why do I have to fight for every bit of respect?!"Gu… Gunji - as you see I've brought you a new roommate. You will look after him and see to it that he is treated well. That is a command!"Not waiting for the boy to stop apologizing I storm out of the room, throwing the door shut behind me. I still don't understand what has just happened in there.
I'm dreaming again. You are on a big place, playing with that strange ball. Some kind of feeling is radiating from you, overwhelming me and sweeping me away. God, those feelings… You seem so full of fire, running and jumping, an unstoppable force. I love you. All of a sudden you look up, staring right into my eyes. That look, I know that look. That is the way you looked at me the first time we met, when you fought me. It makes me so hot. What have I done to wipe that look off your face? Those eyes…With a small moan I finally wake up, bolting upright. God, these dreams!! Hands clutching to my head I try to force those images out of my mind. I don't want this!! I don't want what they are telling me to be!From one second to the other I become aware of how quiet this room is. Where are you? Why aren't you here?! You should be with me, with me alone! Ah, but I've sent you away, haven't I? God, what has happened? How could I grow so addicted to you in such a short time?! But I want you here with me - NOW.
Wrapping the sheet around me I stagger towards the door, finding you sitting right in front of it in the hallway. You are sleeping. Sighing I decide to lift you up and carry you back in, somewhat reluctant to wake you up. You look innocent in your sleep. Maybe I should kill you now. Your death would put an end to all those strange emotions that have been troubling me lately, that I'm sure of.
My fingertips slide over your smooth throat, tracing your windpipe. So frail. I close my hand around your neck, slowly tightening my grip until your eyes snap open. You are looking at me but make no move to stop me, slender arms lying motionless at your sides. Do you wish to die? Ah, but those eyes are haunting me. Smiling cynically at myself I let go of you, deciding to let you live a little longer.
You choke a little as you are finally able to breathe again, helplessly gasping for breath. For the split of a second there was that look in your eyes again.
Brushing my lips against yours I steal a kiss, loving the way your body trembles under mine. My member is throbbing with excitement, demanding release. Grabbing your hips I roll onto my back and bring you down onto my hard cock, chuckling breathlessly at your pained scream. So very tight.
You wriggle frantically, trying to push me out but only succeed in heightening my pleasure. I don't mind you putting up a little fight now and then as long it is clear who's in control. Still gripping your hips I pull you up a little but immediately force you down again, wringing yet another scream from you. You are bleeding, little angel. Obviously unable to keep yourself upright any longer you fall forward, only barely catching yourself before crashing onto me. You wouldn't dare to just fall onto me, would you? Now that your mouth is so invitingly close to mine I cup your head and move to kiss you again, feeling your panting breaths against my lips. I can feel your member harden against my stomach as the tip of my cock brushes against that special spot inside of you time after time, making your back arch with pleasure.
You whimper as I force you to sit on your own again but struggle to stay in position, once again a perfectly obedient slave. You are mine, beautiful. That sweet little hole I'm fucking is mine. Those small hands that are now clawing desperately at the sheets are mine. Those sweet lips that are giving these delightful little moans are mine. And how I want you.
Eyes pressed tightly shut you obediently start to writhe in my lap, muscles straining to keep your body in motion. Feels so good…I can't help but thrust up into you, making you groan. Suddenly I realize that I really like the thought of you feeling pleasure. Yes, I want you to enjoy this. Your head falls back as I close my hand around your erect penis, letting it slip in and out of my grasp. God, and the way you are clenching your ass…With a small roar I plunge deep into you one last time, feeling orgasm crush down on me. Through the thick haze around my mind I can hear you scream mere seconds after me and smile, knowing that you have come as well. When did your pleasure become so important to me? You are a slave - your feelings shouldn't matter at all. Looking down at your shivering form I find that they do after all though I'm still unable to figure out why. I have to make it stop! I have to stop these pointless feelings before it is too late!!!A sharp knock at the door interrupts my silent ranting. I immediately plaster a stern expression onto my face and pull the sheets back over me, yelling for the intruder to come in. Who dares to disturb me while I'm playing with my pet?? I swear, if this isn't important I'm gonna have that impertinent bastard beheaded.
Ah, I should have guessed. It's my brother - the crazy one, not the healer. Slowly he shuffles into the room, malicious brown eyes darting over the walls before fixing on you. I don't like the way he is looking at you. Akihito is … dangerous. Highly effective but unpredictable, a characteristic that is even underlined by his complete lack of conscience. Not one to carry out complicated plans but the best when there is a large number of people to kill.He is the first to speak, smiling that special smile that always makes him look like a weasel on the prowl."As you see I'm back from the mission you assigned me to. Successfully of course. I heard you've taken a new pet. Is that him?"
My eyes narrow with fury at his insolence.
"Watch out who you are talking to! I'm not as gentle as Hirose. However, I am pleased that you managed to fulfill your mission so I'll forget about it. You may go now. And don't come back until I send for you!"
Gritting his teeth he storms out of the room, probably again plotting my murder. He will never succeed in killing me - he's far too narrow-minded to work out a functioning plan. My other brother would maybe have the brains necessary but he's too soft to do much of anything. No, they are no threat to me.
But he has scared you, hasn't he? I can see it in your eyes, in the way you've all but hidden behind me. I can smell fear. Don't worry little angel, I won't let him kill you. I will kill you. You shiver ever so slightly as I wrap one of my arms around you.
I blink in confusion as the first thing I see when I open my eyes in the morning is a strange ceiling, completely different from the from the one in the rundown house my company has been taking refuge in during these last few weeks. It is only when I become aware of the pain still lingering in my body that I remember what has happened yesterday. Biting down on my lower lip I force my aching muscles into motion, rolling around so that I'm facing the wall. I don't wanna see anyone. But there is someone in here, isn't there? If it is the blonde again! But no, I can hear footsteps padding through the room, soft humming filling the air.
Careful not to betray my wakefulness I turn my head and blink a few times, seeing a graceful figure move through the room. It is a boy of about my age, short dark hair falling into his face. He's pretty.
All of a sudden the door flows open and another boy bounces into the room, practically jumping the other. For a few minutes they kiss passionately then the new boy pulls away and turns to me, eyeing me interestedly.
"Oh, you have a new roommate? That's cold, I hoped that I could move in with you now."
I squeeze my eyes tightly shut as both of them are getting closer to me. One second later a soft hand on my shoulder makes me jump. Despite better knowledge I whirl around and throw the pillow at my attacker, listening to my instincts instead of my mind.
"Hey, hey, calm down! It's just your roommate and me!"
Of course there are just the boys I was listening to before, two pairs of startled eyes looking at me. Confused I just ask the first question that comes to my mind, knowing that I must sound pretty dumb.
"Who… who are you?""As he just said before I am your roommate. My name is Gunji, pleased to meet you."
I just stare at the two boys, unable to figure out what two happy looking kids like them are doing here. Are they what Izumi is - pets? But no, there's no one but us around and their masters surely wouldn't allow them to just run around on their own, would they? The one with the honey-colored hair is starting to speak again, clever blue eyes blinking mischievously at me.
"You are the one Koji-dono made such a fuss over, aren't you?!"
F… fuss?"Yeah, sure that's you!! Everybody's talking about how furious Koji-dono was and how Takasaka-sama brought you here in the middle of the night and-"
"Takafumi-san, you're being insensitive again."
"Oh Gunjiiiiiiii!! I'm just asking a few questions! Hey, how about showing the new boy around?"
He pulls me up and out of the room before I can as much as blink, my dark-haired roommate running helplessly after us. Fortunately somebody has put me back into the tattered remnants of my uniform - I think I would have died of shame had I been naked.
"Takafumi-san! Takafumi-san, wait!! I don't think that that is a good idea. He doesn't look as if he wants to be shown around! Takafumi-san!!"
The other is obviously not inclined to listen to his friend's timid exclamations and I'm much too confused to utter any kind of protest. Where AM I? As if in response to my silent question the one called Takafumi starts to talk again.
"You are really lucky that Takasaka-sama brought you here. This is officers only, you know? The others that have to attend to the common soldiers are much worse off. I heard that Koji-dono killed the rest of your men - a real pity. I'm sorry for you, pal. What did you say your name was?"
"…""He didn't say anything, Takafumi-san. Please, excuse my friend's behavior. He's horribly insensitive at times but a real nice guy at the bottom of his heart, you'll see. Would you mind telling us your name?"
"K… Katsumi.""Well, nice to meet you Katsumi-san. I think I've already told you my name but let me introduce you my friend here. This is Takafumi-kun."
By now my mind is reeling with new information. Gunji and Takafumi. Takasaka-sama. Koji-dono. Officers only? Before I have time to dwell on these thoughts someone shoots around the corner and jumps Takafumi, squealing with happiness. What the hell is going on?! Gunji looks only slightly irritated whereas Takafumi is outright furious, trying to throw his assailant off.
"Kimie!!! Get offa me!! Hey, hey!!! Quit that Kimie!"
The assailant turns out to be yet another boy who obviously has a crush on Takafumi. They're nuts!! All of them are completely nuts!! How can they be kidding around in a place like this?!
I can feel tears welling in my eyes even as I watch those boys fool around. All of a sudden Gunji is beside me, for the first time raising his voice to scold his friends.
"Takafumi!! Kimie!! What are you thinking having one of your petty arguments when you can see that Katsumi-san is not well?! Katsumi-san, are you all right? Do you want to be alone?"
I shake my head, afraid of what might happen if I really was left to myself. No, I don't want to be alone. Irritating as those guys are they are a least a distraction. Takafumi is smiling helplessly but obviously determined to assist his lover in trying to cheer me up.
"Shhh Katsumi-kun, there's no reason to cry any longer. You are here with us now. Living here isn't bad at all! Takasaka-sama doesn't allow anyone to hurt us! But please, stop crying, Katsumi-kun - your eyes will get all red and swollen."
Now being the center of attention everyone is staring at me and petting my back, whispering soft words of comfort to make me stop crying.
"Maybe he would like to get some new clothes?"
That's the new boy - the one that jumped Takafumi. But he is right, I'd really like to get something else to wear. The remnants of my old uniform are all dirty and torn, making it uncomfortable to wear. Furthermore, the other boys are all dressed in colorful cotton kimonos, making me feel even more out of place. I mustn't raise too much attention if I ever want to escape and what could be more suspicious than wearing the enemy's uniform in an army headquarters?
Nodding my head I let myself be pulled away, the others already chattering about which colors would suit me best. This place seems to be a world of its own, completely separated from the war-torn universe outside. Battles, warfare, captivity - none of this seems to matter to these boys. They seem to be … happy. Takafumi is walking right beside me, smiling mischievously at me."Now that you're staying in Gunji's room we'll be seeing each other often - you know, he and I are lovers though you mustn't tell Kimie about this. He still thinks that I'm in love with him."
"Takafumi-san… may I ask a question? This… this is some kind of brothel, right? So why aren't there any girls around? "A quick shadow steals over his face, showing me that I probably shouldn't have asked.
"Well, you see, until a few months before your arrival we actually had a few girls but now… It's just that they are all needed for childbearing now that there are so few of them."Few of them? But I thought that there were so few out there just because they are taking them away. They should have plenty of them, shouldn't they? Confused I decide to think about this later, not really wanting to know what this frightening lack of women would mean.
Finally we reach a big room that is stuffed with kimonos of all sorts and colors, some of them even hanging from the ceiling. Gunji sighs happily and immediately walks towards a green silk kimono with a complicated red pattern that reminds me of flames adorning the rim. I gasp in surprise as all of a sudden a bundle of blue silk is thrust into my arms, accompanied by the excited suggestion that I should try and wear it. Numbly I shake my head no, saying something about the thing being too precious and too complicated to put on. After trying to persuade me for a few minutes they finally give up and let me choose on my own. Since I want this to be over as soon as possible I quickly settle for a plain, blue cotton kimono though I can feel the other boys' disappointment. They wanted me to dress up, didn't they?
Though I have chosen a relatively simple model I still need help to fasten the many strings behind my back. When I look at myself in the mirror I hardly recognize myself. The preciously clad boy in the mirror is staring at me, big blue eyes strangely striking in a delicate, pale face. The others are whispering delightedly behind me.
"Didn't I say it right from the start?!" "He's gorgeous!" "He will be SO popular!" "Oh, quit being so jealous Kimie!"
I… am gorgeous? As I turn around I find somebody standing in the doorway, staring openly into the room - staring at me. That person is wearing the intimidating, black uniform of a high officer but miraculously I don't feel uneasy in his presence. I feel like I know him."Takasaka-sama!"
The other boys are running towards him, bowing politely as he nods his head. This is Takasaka? God, now I remember. I blush furiously as I think about what has happened yesterday - the way I've thrown myself at him. For a few seconds we just stare into each other's eyes then I lower my gaze, intently studying the floor. When I look up the next time he is gone.
As we walk back to our rooms I pull Takafumi aside, wanting to find out some more things about this place.
"Takafumi-san say, does Takasaka-sama have a lover?"
I blush immediately, cursing myself for asking such a stupid question. I just wanted to know if there was a way to get out of here without the guards noticing.
"Takasaka-sama? Oh, forget about him. He doesn't like boys - that's why he got this post. It is said that he had a female mate called Madoka who died a few years ago and that's why he won't touch anyone. As I said, just forget about him."
He really does like talking, doesn't he? Well, for once I'm glad about this fact since it helped me to find out more about the boss of this… institution. I need to know much about him if I want to escape, don't I? Takasaka-sama…***
The next few days pass relatively quietly, filled with hot baths, a lot of food and sleep and numerous festivities the boys drag me to. In the evening of the sixth day I realize with horror that I'm starting to forget who I am - what I am. This place … this strange place is starting to become my home. Is this what happened to Izumi? He just forgot about his old life? No, I decide after a few seconds. I still am myself - a boy that would never hurt a friend or obey without thinking.Gunji is knocking at the door, asking me to accompany him to yet another party but I tell him that I'm not feeling well and stay where I am. At least now I know some more about the dynamics of this place. This isn't a conventional brothel - I'm not sure whether it can be called a brothel at all. We aren't really paid for our services - it is just expected. Basically we are specially trained slaves that belong to the state and are sent to festivities to entertain and sleep with some of the more powerful guests. Our consent is of no particular importance though one can of course try to influence the outcome by spending much time with this or that guest.
So far I haven't been expected to indulge into more intimate activities but I know that some guests have already shown interest and that it's just a matter of time. Gunji told me that Takasaka-sama would come and tell me when it is time. I just hope that this won't happen too soon…Judging by what I have heard about him Takasaka-sama is a really nice guy but even he won't spare a reluctant slave forever, will he? And even if he wanted to that demon surely wouldn't let him. A intense wave of hatred washes through me as I think about that blonde bastard. Hatred… the one thing that keeps me from just accepting this pleasant new life. But I won't let it go - I can't let it go! Though this hatred is tearing me apart it is the only thing that reminds me of who I am and what I have to do. I have to make the bastard pay for what he has done!I sigh unnerved as it knocks again and am just about to tell Gunji or whichever of the other boys it is to just piss off as the door swings open, revealing Takasaka-sama. My mouth falls open as I look at the dark-clad figure, my mind unable to figure out what he could want here. He has hardly said two words to me ever since we first met. Or maybe he wants to tell me that it is time to…?"Gunji told me that you weren't well. I hope you aren't feeling too bad?"
Still in shock I only manage to vaguely shake my head no. In fact I was never sick in the first place.
"Well, that's good to hear…"His voice trails off as he nervously takes his glasses off, his long, slender fingers rubbing his temples in a exhausted manner. A wave of sympathy washes through me as I realize that he doesn't like being here either. Noticing that I've been incredibly impolite I quickly offer my guest a chair, smiling as I hear him give a sigh of relief as he sits down. Takasaka-sama sighs again then resumes talking.
"I know that you must be alarmed about my being here but let me assure you there's no reason to be worried. I'm not planning to send you to this party. In fact I don't even know why I am here myself."
Sighing once more he buries his head in his hands, tousling unruly, light strands even more. Concerned I sit down beside him, gently petting his shoulder. I don't like seeing this friendly man so obviously unhappy. He was always good to me…"Takasaka-sama, may I ask why you are so disquieted? I know that I probably can't be of any help but maybe just talking about it…""It's… it's nothing… It's just that - I don't know."Not wanting to press him any further I just nod but keep my hand on his shoulder, hoping that the contact will somehow calm him. All of a sudden he lifts his head and looks up, gray-blue eyes fixed on me. What is he…?I can feel one of his hands cupping the back of my head, fingers twining into my hair as he pulls me forward and brushes his lips against mine. I blink in confusion, unable to comprehend what has just happened. Was that really a kiss? In the next second I find myself sitting in his lap, our mouths frantically pressing against each other. What am I doing? I feel light-headed, intoxicated by the feel of his questing tongue in my mouth. I don't know what to do, how to react. My old life - even the rape that ended it so brutally - seems like a dream to me that has nothing whatsoever to do with the life I'm leading here and now. I feel uprooted, unable to decide what is right or wrong. But nothing that feels so good could be wrong… no, not wrong…Takasaka-sama's hands slip beneath my clothes, somehow avoiding being caught between the thin layers of silk. I moan as he starts to caress my bare skin, pressing into his touch. I can't help but writhe in his lap, making my kimono ride up my thighs. As if drawn by my naked flesh one of his hands settles on my thigh, exposing me even further. I can't keep my head from falling back, unintentionally breaking the kiss. My blood thunders in my ears, loud but not loud enough to drown out my panting breaths. Oh, please!! Helplessly tearing at his uniform, I try to touch some bare skin myself, worming my hand beneath the collar of his shirt.
His hips shift minutely and the next time our groins come in contact makes both of us gasp. Blindly straining against him I seek release, virtually begging to be touched. He's speaking against my neck, murmuring my name over and over again. And the way he's saying it…With a small groan he finally grabs my buttocks and pulls me hard against him, rubbing our groins together. Oh god, I can't….! I give a small scream as all those emotions suddenly grow too intense too bear, feeling orgasm sweep me away. Embarrassed I bury my face in his chest, all too aware of the treacherous wetness between my legs. Takasaka-sama has stopped moving at well, arms wrapped tightly around me. Did he… did he too…?Hesitantly looking up I find that he has blushed a little, a delicious little frown on his face. We look at each other for several seconds then suddenly start to laugh, at the same time realizing the bizarre comic of this situation. He pulls me down and kisses me again, stifling my almost hysterical giggles. And they said he didn't like boys! When we look at each other again we're serious, trying to measure each other's feelings.
Unwilling to say anything I just relax against him, allowing myself some rest. For the first time in months I feel at peace. Takasaka-sama is making me feel that way.
Having curled into a tight ball I do my best to close my eyes and ears to what is happening on the other side of the big bed. I still don't understand why I have to stay around even when he amuses himself with his female playthings. I hate it… hate it so much. Right now he has even two of them here and is thoroughly enjoying their bodies. At least now I'm by and large left alone. The first time he had one of them join us in bed he tried to make me have sex with her but I couldn't - I just couldn't!! The entire time I saw Katsumi's face in front of me, the terror in his eyes.It was the first time I didn't immediately execute one of his commands. Eventually I felt so sick that I had to throw up and he had to give up on his plan. Fortunately he left it at that and I was allowed to become a silent watcher - mostly.
But what has really surprised me is that he seems to treat me a lot better than them. He hits them, hurts them, makes them bleed every time they come here. But of course they are free - some of them even work for him - and they have more or less chosen their fate.
The moans on the other side of the bed are getting louder, that Eri girl whom he is sleeping with now obviously in ecstasy. All of a sudden he reaches out for me, beckoning me closer.
Obediently I crawl towards him, letting myself be pulled against his chest. At least I won't have to touch one of the girls. I can feel Minamimoto's eyes on my back but her menacing stare doesn't scare me. He won't allow me to be hurt by any other than himself.
He kisses me even as he is still moving in the girl, hands frantically roaming over my body. Suddenly Eri screams then her body goes limp. A few seconds later he climaxes as well, heavy body collapsing against me. I catch him the best I can, gently lowering him to the mattress. I almost laugh at his exhausted demeanor, knowing that he is just pulling off a show. Those few minutes of sex can't weaken him.
Minamimoto who has been lying passively beside us all the time is moving now, leaning over my master's motionless form. For a moment her well shaped mouth twists into an evil grin.
"Take your dirty paws off him, slave!! You aren't worth the shit under his boots!"
I immediately retreat but instead of keeping my gaze lowered I stare right into her eyes, trying to show my disgust.
She gives an angry gasp and lifts her hand to hit me but he is faster than her, grabbing her wrist before she has even touched me. He is glaring at the suddenly frightened woman, his formerly half-closed eyes now vivid and flashing with anger.
"YOU. WILL. NOT. TOUCH. HIM. And you-" he turns to me "-you will not be impudent to Minamimoto again."
"That's it?! You'll let him get away with it?! He's a dirty slave for heaven's sake!! He shouldn't be allowed to even sleep in this bed!"
His eyes narrow almost imperceptibly, the only outward sign for his anger. And he is very angry. Minamimoto seems to realize that she has made a horrible mistake because she starts babbling excuses, lifting her slender hands in defiance. He hushes her with one gesture, not caring for her incoherent pleads for mercy.
"You understand nothing Minamimoto, do you? He is mine. Insult him and you insult me. Lay even one finger on him and you might as well hit me. Get out of here, Minamimoto. Now. You too Eri - go."
His icy gaze has the two girls scramble up in a sudden hurry. Amused I watch them struggle into their clothes and practically rush out of the room, noticing the fear behind their hasty movements.
I'm afraid too though for an entirely different reason. I'm afraid that he might notice the change in me. I have started to defy him. Nothing great, just little things like stealing out of his arms while he is sleeping or hesitating a few seconds longer than necessary when he orders me to do something but it is defiance nevertheless - a fact I am incredibly proud of. Now that I have it back I know that something inside of me was dead. I was dead. I think the first time I got aware of the fact was when he forced me to do THAT to Katsumi but back then I didn't have the strength to free myself of these chains. It was only when he almost strangled me this morning that the realization of just how close to death I really am has given me the strength to live. Really live. This is my secret, a secret he must never find out about. I wouldn't survive being broken again.
He is gazing at me, a look in his eyes that seems to strip my soul of all defenses… no…. But if I am myself again why do I still have this feeling of righteousness whenever he takes me? And those dreams… those dreams are worse than ever. I just can't make sense of them!! One time he's my gentle lover and the next time he attacks me without apparent reason. They are like memories that have somehow gotten out of order. Memories? Could they be memories? MY memories of a life before this?Inwardly I laugh at myself. What a ridiculous thought. Everybody knows that there are no such things as previous lives. I'm probably just going a little psycho after all that has happened. Looking up I find that he has started to work again, expression cold and distant while his fingers seemingly fly over the keyboard. I stay on the bed for a few more minutes before going over to him and snuggling up against his leg - another small act of defiance. But eventually I'm sitting at his feet after all, head resting against his thigh. So strange that these few moments of peace with him feel so much more intimate than even our having sex together. I suppress a small sigh and allow myself to relax completely, hoping that he'll be busy for the next few hours.
"There's a big party this evening I have to attend to."
No such luck. But why is he telling me this? The few times he has left me alone up to now I never had any idea where he was going.
"This time you will be accompanying me."
I can feel myself pale. A big party? But that means that there will be people there - hundreds of people that will all know who I am and what he has done to me. How can I even hope that I'll be able to keep up an impassive facade? I hide my distress the best I can, keeping my eyes on the floor and my body motionless.
"That little friend of yours will be there, too - I personally requested his presence. I might even let you talk to him. You would like that, wouldn't you?"
If possible the tension in my body even increases. Katsumi? Katsumi will be there? Katsumi who has suffered so much just because of his attempt to free me. How am I supposed to face him?! How am I supposed to face anyone?!
Eventually he must have noticed my distress because he looks down at me, something close to sympathy in his eyes.
"You don't have to go naked if it is that you are worrying about. You will be given a cloak before we leave this suite."
I just nod, hoping that he will accept this for an answer. It is good to know that I won't have to be nude but this still doesn't solve the dilemma about my having to see Katsumi again. Well, as it is there is nothing I can do. Any further protest would just make him suspicious of my obedience.
So I'll meet Katsumi - maybe it won't be so bad after all. After all there'll be hundreds of people around us, there's no way we'll be talking about anything but the most superficial matters. Yes, everything will be fine. Deciding that I need some rest now I just push all unpleasant thoughts aside and let myself doze off.
My eyes snap open as his body stiffens abruptly. What…? Looking up at him I find that he has stopped working, his hands lying limply beside the laptop. Frowning I notice that he seems to be staring into thin air, his face a mask of nothingness. He seems to be here without being here. This… this is exactly what he looked like during that fit a few hours ago. Is he…? Is he sick again? Fortunately it doesn't seem to be so bad this time for mere seconds later he shakes his head, eyes darting through the room in confusion. He is himself again. I just wish I knew what is wrong with him. What is he seeing when there's that empty look in his eyes?***
A few hours later we are ready to leave and for the first time in weeks I have been given something to wear. It is just a long black cloak but if it is wrapped properly around me it covers me from head to toe. The feel of rough fabric on my sensitive skin irritates me, a constant reminder of how unused to clothing I have become. He doesn't even deign to look at me when he finally walks out of the room, trusting that I will come after him. Well, I do.
I suppress a small sigh as I watch my younger brother pace the length of the room, not wanting to even think about what might have caused this fit of temper. He hasn't said a word since he first arrived but I can feel that he'll talk soon. He's growing impatient. As I expected he uses the next half an hour to tell me every detail of my second's brother's newest misbehavior - the way he has treated him, what an idiot he is to let all those humans live on and what things he, Akihito, could accomplish given the kind of power Koji has. I do my best to appear interested though I couldn't care less about the ways of powers. I'm the first son - the useless one. Well, maybe not useless but unable to exercise power myself. I have neither Koji's cold cruelty nor Akihito's unbridled fury. I am… I am just myself. Even my body is almost entirely human, only bearing a minimum of technical enhancement - an artificial heart, metal coating around some of my bones and of course the obligatory self preservation system. My body doesn't react well to it and I frankly don't need it - I'm a healer, an excellent healer but still nothing out of the ordinary and I thank whatever gods there may be every day for this simple fact. I'm useful but no threat to anybody so by and large I'm allowed to live in peace.But now Akihito is here and tries me to convince to stand up against Koji. Oh, just why can't my little brothers keep peace? I really don't want to offend Akihito but I just can't help him with this. I doubt that we had a chance even if we combined our efforts. Koji's just too strong.
Unable to listen to this inane ranting any longer I lift my hands, hoping that my authority as his older brother will be enough to shut him up.
"Akihito, please, DO calm down. I'm going to give you some sedatives now and you'll sleep over it. Tomorrow when you'll have calmed down a little we can talk again and-"
"Calm down?! CALM DOWN???!!! So you're against me, too?! Sedate me, huh?! I bet you were going to make me pass out and tell Koji afterwards about what I've said to you!! I thought at least you were my friend!!!"
I flinch as if he had hit me, unable to believe what I've just heard. He's never talked to me like that!! NEVER!!! Before I can as much as blink much less think of something to appease him he runs out of the room, tears welling in his eyes. Unable to understand what has just happened I look after him. Oh no, he's going to do something stupid now. Strong arms are wrapped around me, keeping me from doubling over. I feel helpless, so exhausted.
But as always Kurauchi is here, holding me. I smile faintly at myself, feeling my heartbeat slowing. Yes, I'm definitely getting better. Warm lips touch my neck, sucking gently at it. He'll leave a mark on me again. Well, I guess it is okay - I've been avoiding him for several days now, denying myself the ease I find in his arms. It is time. Turning my head I allow myself to be kissed, opening my mouth to his questing tongue. My Kurauchi.
But I don't have time for this now, do I? I've got to find Akihito and keep him from ruining his life. Reluctantly I eventually break this kiss, trying to break free from Kurauchi's protective embrace.
"Let me go! I've got to go after him! I've got to stop him before it is too late!"
Ignoring my command he doesn't let go but pulls me even tighter against him, murmuring into my ear.
"You've already done more than enough for him. Besides, he's far too furious to listen to anything you say. You won't go anywhere until I decide that it's safe. I won't let you be hurt by that lunatic."
"What are you talking about, slave? Let go of me, now! This is a command!"
He just laughs and scoops me into his arms, carrying me towards the bedroom. Impertinent! I'll… I'll… I'll do nothing. I couldn't bear to see him being punished, broken.Admitting defeat I put my arms around him. I love him far too much. Laying me down onto the bed he stands over me, dark face sad and worried. What is it? Reaching out for him I draw him into the circle of my arms. He is probably right about Akihito. It wouldn't be safe coming anywhere near him as long as he's in this mood. Kissing again our bodies entwine, members hardening against each other. He's combing his fingers through my hair as he often does, tousling the blonde strands and making them fall into my forehead. Biting back on a moan I help him to strip me of the wide robe I'm dressed in today. Oh, please! My back arches involuntarily as he starts to lick one of my nipples, his tongue playfully pressing it down. So good….Slowly he kisses his way down my body, teasing me mercilessly. Oh god! My body is tossing and turning, drowning in the inevitable pleasure despite the nagging feel of guilt in the back of my mind. I shouldn't feel such things for my slave, I shouldn't treat him as my equal, let alone let him dominate me. But it feels so good… so good…My fingers twine into his short, dark hair as he buries his head between my legs, feeling him suck at my manhood. Big, brown hands push my legs even further apart, exposing me completely to his hungry mouth. By now I am signalizing unconditional surrender, begging more than commanding him to continue. Two surprisingly nimble fingers slip into me, immediately finding the pleasure spot. He knows exactly what to do to drive me wild and he exploits this knowledge shamelessly. When he moves up to kiss me again I can taste myself on his lips. Mmh, yes…Our tongues are battling fiercely, pressing against each other much like the rest of our bodies do. I cry out as he pushes into me - not because of the pain, he is never anything but gentle with me, but because it is so good to have him in me again. I haven't been with him for so long. He keeps perfectly still for almost a minute, just leaning over me, mouth close to my ear so that I can feel more than hear him whispering soothing nonsense to me. He believes that he's hurt me. No, Kurauchi, never.
Wrapping my arms around him I pull him closer still, making him slip even deeper into me. He moans at that, his whole body trembling as he stubbornly refuses to give in and start to really thrust. Ah, but I want it… I want it so much. I kiss his cheek and ear, biting the lobe in a mock attack to get him to move on. Kurauchi is always so considerate. Then a shiver runs through his body, showing me that it is finally time. He won't hold back any longer. Still gentle, still slow he starts to thrust but it doesn't take long and he has me screaming, my body shaken by the force of his shoves. Why does this have to feel so good?My body is hot, molten fire flowing through my veins. Oh please! Frantically lifting my hips against him I try to meet his thrusts, loving the feel of having him deep in me. Finally our rhythm speeds up even more and he closes his hand around me, skillfully working my hard length. Always thinking about my pleasure.
Giving a hoarse scream my body jerks convulsively, hot seed shooting into Kurauchi's hand. For a second everything turns black and the world seems to dissolve into feelings. Why can't it always be like this? But when I open my eyes again I'm back in my bedroom, Kurauchi's heavy body draped over me. I sigh contently but I know that I can't allow myself to rest long. My thoughts focus on Akihito again.
"What do you think my little brother is going to do?"
"I don't know - but wait, isn't the yearly Kiantro party this evening? Even Koji-dono will be there. That would be a perfect opportunity for him to take revenge."
The party!! I completely forgot. Yes, the yearly party to honor the foundation of our society would indeed be perfect for Akihito.
"Quick, what time is it?! Can we still make it?"
I'm already half out of the bed as I ask this question, praying to God that I will manage to stop Akihito in time. Kurauchi has to help me with my clothes, my fingers trembling too heavily to fasten the many strings of my robe.
Oh, this is all my fault! If only I hadn't upset Akihito so much; if only I had been a little more patient! Kurauchi is talking to me again but I'm just unable to concentrate on his words. Finally I'm ready to go and rush out of the room, Kurauchi mere steps after me. Hurry! I've got to hurry!!
Tears blur my sight as I rush out of Hirose's room, my mind a chaos of broken thoughts and emotions. He hates me!! Hirose hates me!! And I always thought… I LOVE him for heaven's sake! This is all Koji's fault!!! Nothing of this would have happened if it wasn't for him! Koji… I HATE Koji!! I'll kill him. Now that Hirose hates me it doesn't matter any longer what will happen to me. Yes, I will kill Koji.With this thought a strange calmness descends upon me, every doubt wiped from my mind. I will kill Koji. Today. Yes, today is perfect - the Kiantro is today and there'll be for once an opening around Koji.
I will wait until he sits on the throne then have somebody switch off the security system and just go and slay him. Have somebody switch off the security system… But who? Who can I trust? An evil smile steals over my face. Kimie. The boy was my personal pleasure slave a few years ago and is still scared to death of me. He won't dare to do anything but obey. So I'm going to see sweet Kimie again…Without any further delay I walk towards the slave quarters, finding Kimie's room without any difficulties. It is a nice room, light and friendly and altogether perfect for the little airhead. What a stupid kid.
Unceremoniously flopping onto the bed I bury my head in the pillows, breathing Kimie's scent. Ah, this brings back memories. Sometimes I regret having given Kimie to Takasaka - he was always a satisfying fuck. Mmmh, just being here makes me remember.
He was deliciously innocent at that time, shedding hot tears every time I took him. I used to cuff his hands to the headboard and spank him before having my way with him, imagining that he was Hirose and asking him all the questions I would never dare to ask the real one. 'Why do you keep ignoring me?' 'Why won't you see what I am feeling?' 'Don't you want me at all?' 'I want you very much.' 'I LOVE you!' 'Say that you want me Hirose, say that you want me!' Sometimes the boy bled so bad that I had to change the mattress afterwards.
Ah, and that one time when I rubbed Rizku powder into his ass to make it tighter - the look of pain on his face even as I pushed just one finger into him was so delicious. By the time I had my cock up his ass he was screaming in agony, screaming all the time as I continued to fuck his sorry little butt. At some point his throat must have gotten all sore because his tormented cries were replaced by equally appealing little whimpers. Oh, he was so very tight…When I hear somebody enter the room I immediately lift my head, looking up just in time to see Kimie pale. So scared. I smile again, noticing the panic in the boy's eyes. Yes, be afraid little one, be very afraid. But for now he is safe - at least as long as he does as I say. I still need him.
"So Kimie, aren't you glad to see me?"
He nods hastily, mumbling something about him having been upset about my absence - pathetic lies I don't even start to believe. No matter what people might think about me I am not stupid.
"Don't you want to know why I've come here today?"
He nods again, eyeing me warily. He too isn't that stupid.
"Well, actually Kimie-chan… I need you to do me a favor. A very special favor. A favor you mustn't talk about to anybody. You wouldn't reject me, would you?""N…no… of course not, Akihito-sama.""Very well. You will go to the Kiantro today, won't you? Of course you will, a pretty young thing like you surely has gotten loads of invitations. Anyway, when you are there you will wait until everybody is in the big hall and then go and switch the security systems off. Got that?"
"B… but master, what if somebody sees me?""Nobody will see you, idiot! As I just said, you will wait until everybody is in the big hall and once Koji will have made his entrance nobody will give a damn about the whereabouts of a shitty little slave like you. And even if they should catch you - nothing they could do to you would be as bad as what will happen to you if you dare to defy me!! Understood?"
"So what will you do?"
"I will wait until Koji-dono has arrived and then go and switch the security systems off."
"I won't tell anyone about this."
"Very well, slave. And don't you dare fail me. I don't have to tell you what will happen if you do. "
Still smiling I stand up and am about to leave the room, turning back to him at the last possible instant.
"Say, those scars on your butt - do they still hurt?"
Everybody is standing in the big hall, staring at the gate through which hopefully Koji-dono will appear soon. I sigh ever so slightly, resenting having to be here at all. But I could hardly reject an invitation of Hisaya-sama, could I? For being one of them he's a nice guy and one of the few who really just seeks my companionship and not my bed. He has a female mate called Eri whom he adores but who betrays him constantly. She is said to have an affair with Koji-dono and I suppose that that's why she's not here at the moment. I can feel Hisaya-sama's arm around me, his hand casually stroking my hip. I endure his touch, knowing that he won't do anything more. He just hopes that one day Eri-san will get jealous after all and he likes to have somebody to talk to. Most of his friends tire quickly when they have to listen to his endless soliloquies about 'his' Eri-san.
Still, I can feel myself blush. Even after all those years I haven't learned. Insecure I glance at Takafumi, finding my lover beside a high ranking general. He is laughing and making small talk with the much older man but for the split of a second he turns to me and smiles, signalizing that it will start soon. My blush deepens and I quickly look at the door again.
Maybe I should start a conversation? It is my duty to amuse my companion after all.
"Is it true that this year Koji-dono is going to take his new pet with him?"
"Yes, I've heard that, too. Eri said he never lets him out of his sight and of course there are those rumors…"He doesn't finish this sentence for suddenly the murmurs of hundreds of people fills the air and the gigantic door silently swing open. Koji-dono is here. My eyes quickly search the crowd for Katsumi, finding him standing right beside Takasaka-sama, obviously deeply upset about having to see his torturer again. But Takasaka-sama is with him so I guess it will be okay. The two of them are really cute.
I can't help but suck in a sharp breath as I look upon Koji-dono again. He's rather close to me now and as beautiful as ever. So strange that people always tend to forget about his beauty when they aren't constantly reminded of it. Blue eye flashing and long, white hair fanning after him he energetically crosses the room, his aura of power and danger drawing everybody's eyes like a magnet. The unobtrusive dark figure behind him is half forgotten and half ignored. So this is the boy everybody is talking about.
He's rather tall, though Koji-dono still tops him by about 6 inches, and seems to be very slender. He has wrapped himself into a wide, black cloak and judging by his bare feet and the few inches of smooth, suntanned skin that can be glimpsed every now and then between the loose folds of the fabric, he is wearing nothing underneath. Probably I shouldn't be surprised - he's Koji-dono's after all.
The boys head is bowed, shadow and the voluminous hood of his cloak veiling his face almost completely. Oh, but I so wished to see what he looks like. As if he had read my mind he suddenly lifts his head and looks at me, making me stare in surprised awe. God, now I understand. He is so very beautiful, huge amber eyes set into a delicate face, a mixture of submissiveness and fire glittering in them. Transfixed I continue to stare into the boy's eyes fascinated by his aura of vulnerability and strength. This boy has survived Koji-dono for several weeks now and is still able to walk?
Blinking I eventually realize that Hisaya-sama has been talking to me for some time now. Fortunately it just seems to be one of his endless monologues about Eri-sama so all I have to do is nod my head now and then and try to look as if I was actually interested in what he's saying.
By now Koji-dono has reached the throne, the boy sitting to his feet. He has draped his cloak over himself in a way that reveals almost nothing of his bronze skin but even as I am watching Koji-dono leans down and pulls the concealing fabric away, exposing a slender leg to our eyes. Again a murmur rises in the crowd but this time the boy and not Koji-dono is its cause.
Eventually Hisaya-sama must have noticed my distraction after all because he is petting my shoulder, asking me if there is anything wrong. I shake my head and tear my gaze off the couple at the throne, unwilling to give an explanation. All of a sudden I feel unable to breathe, the crowd around me smothering me. Forcing a smile onto my lips I ask Hisaya-sama to excuse me for a few minutes and rush off without even waiting for him to answer. I can feel his gaze on my back - he probably thinks that I am sick.
Reaching the toilets I splash cold water into my face. When I look at myself in the mirror I can't help but wince. I'm so pale. Hearing the door open and close I whirl around, finding that it is Takafumi.
"You were suddenly running away. I was worried."
"It is nothing. I'm just… I'm just…"He nods, understanding. My Takafumi. I tilt my head as he moves to kiss me, inviting his tongue into my mouth. Having to spend almost every night with customers we use every opportunity we get to be together. Praying that everybody else is busy in the big hall I let myself be pushed into one of the small cabins.
I moan into his mouth as skillful hands push my kimono up my thighs. At least I know that he is expert enough to not ruin the precious garment. I press my hand to my mouth as sinks to his knees in front of me, trying not to groan as I feel my length being engulfed in wet heat. He's sucking playfully at me, tongue playing around the tip. Suppressing a scream I bite my hand hard, legs almost buckling as he licks the few drops of precum from the small slit at the head of my penis. Fingers clenching in Takafumi's hair I try to plunge deeper into his mouth but he just laughs and pulls away, smiling impishly up at me.
"Will this…" he gently caresses my erection "…still be needed or am I allowed to finish you off?""I… I'm here with Hisaya-sama today…"He nods, once again understanding immediately. Finally that hot mouth descends upon me again, sucking now with all might. We have to hurry, don't we? Mere minutes later it is over and I'm screaming after all, a tide of sensations washing through me, paralyzing my will. My legs have eventually given out and I find myself sitting on the toilet, Takafumi straightening my clothes.
"Come on, we've got to go back - Hisaya-sama will already be looking for you."
He swiftly kisses me again, a soft touch full of love and affection. I bow my head, not wanting to think about Takafumi denying himself release. I know why he does it. I know that he is sleeping with many men - has to sleep with them - but seeing him openly getting ready for it still hurts. But I too know that he loves me so I force myself to push these thoughts aside and open the door.
My eyes widen in shock as I see who is standing in the doorway. Kimie is staring at me - no, not at me, at Takafumi who is standing right behind me. No, he must have heard! Before either of us can as much as blink tears well in Kimie's eyes and he rushes out of the room. No, Kimie!!
Takafumi is the first to move, pushing past me and running after the hastily retreating boy. I've got to go after them!! Gathering the voluminous cloth of my kimono around me I too start to run as well but am just unable to catch up with them. Cursing myself for wearing such a complicated garment I finally reach the big hall, almost bumping into the backs of the people that are blocking my way.
What is it? Why is it so quiet? I spot Katsumi and Takasaka-sama not far from me in the crowd and somehow even manage to get through to them. But why are they so pale? Still out of breath I finally manage to ask what is going on. Takasaka-sama who is clearly on the verge of panicking, looks down at me, distress in his eyes.
"Kimie! They have Kimie!"
"What?! I… I don't understand. What's going on?!""Akihito-sama just tried to kill Koji-dono! Of course it didn't work out and now THEY have him! Oh, Kimie must have somehow been involved into this affair! Heaven knows what has really happened but they say it is capital treason! Oh God, oh god, oh god…"C… capital treason? Kimie? Unable to believe what I have just heard I push past them, fighting my way through the crowd until I finally reach the empty space in the middle. I freeze instantly, staring open-mouthed at the scene in front of me. Koji-dono is still sitting on the throne, an amused smile playing over his lips. Akihito-sama and Kimie are kneeling in front of him, numerous guns pointing at their heads. Kimie is staring empty-eyed at the floor but Akihito-sama is staring at his brother, unbridled hate glittering in his eyes. Yes, he hates Koji-dono and it is very obvious that he doesn't regret any of what he has done - of what he will die for.I press my eyes tightly shut as the first shot is fired, hoping beyond reason that it wasn't meant for Kimie. When I open my eyes again I sigh with relief. Kimie is still alive. In the next second a the crowd parts, making way for an exhausted-looking young man in the robe of a healer. I don't know this guy. Is he somebody important? I don't understand why everybody is practically jumping out of his way. Or could he be…?Taking a closer look at him I notice just how much he looks like Koji-dono. Yes, this has to be Hirose-sama, the third brother, the one who is said to never appear in public. But now he is here, staring in disbelief at the corpse on the floor. He drops to his knees beside his dead brother, hesitantly touching his shoulder. Then he looks at Koji-dono, tears in his eyes.
"Koji… how could you? How could you…"His voice is dull and broken but his eyes are flashing, accusing Koji-dono. The latter is standing up now, face cold and expressionless.
"It was necessary. He was a traitor. You wouldn't have known of any of this, would you dear brother? Well, it doesn't matter. I suggest you return to your quarters now. You may take this -" he gestures for the corpse "- with you. The boy goes to the dungeons."
From one second to the other Hirose-sama's expression changes, a cold mask slipping over his face. Scary.
Two of the guards grab the corpse and drag it out of the hall, two others pull Kimie in another direction.
From the corner of my eye I watch Takasaka-sama lead Katsumi away though it is strictly forbidden to leave before Koji-dono. I wish I could go too but that's impossible. I have got to find Hisaya-sama now and somehow make it through this evening. The party will go on as if nothing had happened and exactly the same is expected of us. But it will be difficult… so difficult…
Not caring about etiquette any longer I grab Katsumi's hand and pull him away from the crowd. His face is all pale and taut, showing clearly just how much these recent happenings have gotten to him. I'm so worried about the boy that I almost forget about my own nervousness. I have to get him out of here or he will snap. I just hope that Koji-dono won't notice our absence.
On the way back Katsumi doesn't say a word, scaring me half to death. I knew it was a bad idea to go to that party in the first place but what should I have done? Koji-dono ordered us to be there. Well, maybe I should just stop obeying Koji-dono. Maybe I should just take Katsumi away - take him to a place where he can forget and heal.
Finally we reach the door of Katsumi's room but he doesn't go in.
"Ta… Takasaka-sama, please could I stay with you tonight? I… I couldn't bear to be alone just now and… and…"Tears are welling in his eyes, a few of them already running down his cheeks. It breaks my heart to see this boy cry. Pulling him into my arms I try to calm him, telling him that of course he can stay with me and that I love him and that I will make everything all right. Oh god, did I just say that I love him?
His huge blue eyes are wide open and mirror the surprise that must be surely shown in my own. But it is true, isn't it? I am in love with Katsumi. Feeling myself blush I quickly take a step back, babbling something about us going to my rooms and him looking very pale. I don't think that what I'm saying is making much sense. And what is it with that good for nothing self-healing system?! It should keep me from getting too nervous, shouldn't it?! But when we reach my apartment my nervousness even increases. We haven't been alone in the same room ever since… then and I can hardly keep my body from following the wrong inclinations.Katsumi immediately collapses onto the bed and buries his head in the pillows, small sobs shaking his body. I hold him until his tears ease and he relaxes against me then pull the blanket over him and get ready to spend the night on the couch. I don't want to bother him as long as he's in this condition. A good night's sleep, that's what he needs now - not an overly worried lover who does nothing but keep him awake. He seems to have guessed my intention because suddenly his eyes flow open and he grabs my arm, keeping me beside him.
"I asked if I could stay with YOU, Takasaka-sama. Please, don't leave me now - make me…forget!"Wrapping his arms around me he pulls me into a kiss, soft lips trembling under mine. So sweet. Closing my eyes I allow myself to be pulled beside him onto the bed. Katsumi's hands are clawing at me, obviously wanting to tear off my clothes but too eager to accomplish anything. Well, if this is what he wants…I help him with the buttons of my shirt, loving the feel of his hands on my skin. He seems to be almost desperate to get closer to me, his eyes those of a hunted animal. He must be so very scared. Trying to be as gentle as possible I press him into the mattress, stilling his frantic movements. By now I have realized that he is trying to run away. He can't bear to face reality now so he seeks to forget, clinging to every distraction he might get. It hurts to think of myself as a distraction.I touch my lips to his forehead in an attempt to calm him a little. His skin is cool but sweat slick, a fact that makes me worry all the more. Maybe he is getting sick over all that has happened. Another heart-wrenching sob escapes his lips as I cover his face with kisses. If he would just quit crying!
He is moving again, restlessly writhing under me though I am doing my best to keep him still. If he absolutely wants this I will have to comply, won't I? But then I will do it my way. Gently kissing his neck I push his kimono down his shoulders, baring that lovely torso. He moans as I suck his nipples, body arching from the mattress. He really is determined to get through with this, isn't he? And I want him so much - want him far too much to resist any longer. Pushing my last doubts aside I dedicate myself to pleasuring the beautiful young man in front of me, caressing every inch of that flawless white skin. Within minutes he's lying naked in front of me, beautiful body twisting and turning in the throes of passion. I am just about to give him release as he suddenly pushes me back and away. Has he finally realized just how horribly wrong this whole situation is? But no, he doesn't look as if he wants to stop - he looks as if he wants more, everything.
"Please Takasaka-sama, I want - I need - it, all of it. Please…"For long seconds I just stare into Katsumi's eyes, not knowing what to do. I want him, want him so much that it hurts and yet I know that it would be wrong to take him now. He's not in his right mind and doesn't know what he is doing. When he presses his lips to my nipple it is over. With a moan I push his legs apart, exposing his most private area.
'I didn't plan this, Katsumi', I apologize to him in my thoughts, 'I didn't even want it but how could I have refused? You are so beautiful. You've got to know that I would never hurt you on purpose - NEVER!!'.
His face distorts in pain as I push one of my fingers into him and yet he does everything to keep me from stopping. He even lifts his hips to accommodate to the penetration. But he is so tense, muscles clenching around my finger. He hasn't forgotten the last time somebody has touched him there, has he? Though I can't be sure of what exactly has happened I surely have my suspicions. I will make you forget Katsumi - if not now then in the future.
Ever so slowly the boy starts to relax, the look of pain disappearing from his face. He didn't know that this can feel good too, did he? Well, I will show him. It takes almost ten minutes to make him yield completely and when he is finally ready I'm trembling with anticipation. I still think that what we are doing is wrong but I can't… I just can't…!Finally the tip of my member nudges against his opening. His eyes hold mine as I slowly push into him, conveying everything he feels - pain, pleasure, affection. I wait a few seconds to give him time to get used to the feel of having somebody inside of him but soon my self-control snaps and I start to move, moaning every time I plunge into his tightness.
How long has it been since I've been with somebody like this? Three, four years? Never since Madoka died. Madoka… Katsumi reminds me of her. He's so sweet and friendly, always smiling no matter how he is feeling inside.I groan again as he wraps his legs around me, swept away by a wave of ecstasy. He makes me so hot! Closing my eyes I abandon all self-restraint, moving faster and faster until I reach the heights of pleasure. When I close my hand around him, Katsumi shudders convulsively. He feels pleasure too, doesn't he? Finally the world seems to dissolve into a haze of sensations and I achieve the most breathtaking climax I have ever experienced. For a few seconds I feel like blacking out but as I remember about Katsumi I immediately struggle to open my eyes. He has been crying again, tear-streaked cheeks glistening in the artificial light. Did I… did I hurt him?Apologetically kissing his tears away I pull Katsumi into a tight embrace. I've hurt him!! I've hurt him enough to make him cry!
"It's… it's not you, Taka-chan. In fact I don't even know why I'm crying - I enjoyed what has just happened! I loved it but… but…""Shh, it's all right. Cry if you feel that you have to. But… why are you calling me Taka-chan?"He blushes, blinking up at me in confusion.
"Did I just call you that? I'm sorry! I don't know where that just came from… it's just that it felt right to think of you as Taka-chan."I nod, understanding. Sometimes I too feel strange urges when I'm around Katsumi though most of the time I prefer to not think about this. I guess I'm just not used to loving somebody so much.
But the boy's eyes are filling with tears again, the light in them dulled by overwhelming pain.
"Don't worry Katsumi, I will take you away from here…"Only seconds later I realize that I've said this out aloud.
For the first time in weeks I feel completely calm, in control. I finally know what is going on and what has to be done about it. These emotions that have been triggering my system breakdowns are mine and not mine. They are what I felt in a past life - that's why they are confusing my sps so much. Ah, sometimes just looking at you is enough…It will kill me. Sooner or later I will most certainly die of this. Looking at your sleeping face it is hard to believe that you shall be the cause of my death. But don't you think that you will survive after all. You are going to die, too. Soon. Today - well, maybe tomorrow, I haven't decided yet. Both of us are going to die. I smile a little at that thought, absent-mindedly running my fingers through your hair. You must never, ever be without me again. A few hours ago we have left for my holiday residence in the mountains. There's still so much to do before we die and so little time left. I grip the arm of my chair as yet another fit seizes my body, my sps rebelling frantically against a dead man's emotions.One more day, I promise silently to myself, one more day and will welcome these feelings - will finally let them become a part of me. Yes, tomorrow will be the day. But I'm running out of time. The fits are coming more often with every hour that passes, each of them weakening me a bit more. Have to hurry up…When we finally arrive it is pretty late, stars sparkling in the black sky above us. The scent of hundreds of flowers fills the air, dazzling our senses as we cross the extensive gardens. Such a beautiful night. Maybe tonight is the right time after all. Yes, it will be tonight. You cast an inquisitive glance at me, beautiful dark eyes, looking straight into mine. Do you wonder why I have taken you here? Don't, you will find out soon enough. Robots have already taken our baggage away, leaving us to do as we please - as I please.We take our meal in silence. I'm in no mood to talk since I'm all wrapped in my own thoughts, contemplating how to start what I know that has to be done. How does one initiate making love to somebody? I don't want it to be like all those times we've had sex before - no, I want it to be special, beyond mere physical coupling. Just this one time I wanna know what it is like to not do it to find satisfaction myself but to pleasure someone else. I want to pleasure YOU. Unfortunately I don't have any idea how to do this.
Angrily throwing my chopsticks onto the table I stand up and leave the room, hearing your hurried footsteps coming after me. I bet you think that I'm crazy. I walk without thinking and soon I find myself in the center of the gardens, the water in the big fountain sparkling miraculously under the moonlight. Here… I have come here…?When I turn around I find you standing right behind me, looking awed at the surroundings. Here. Now.
You don't resist as I lean down and kiss you, your lips yielding and giving way for my questing tongue. I will make love to you now. Another cramp shakes my body but I just clutch you tighter to me, hoping that this will keep you from noticing. I kiss you long, longer than I have ever before, trying to lure your tongue into my mouth, trying to make you kiss back. For once this is not about surrender but about response. It takes quite some time but finally you give a helpless gasp and wrap your arms around me, tense body suddenly all willing and pliant. Had I known that it would be like this I would have done this earlier - or maybe I wouldn't, I honestly don't know. But what does this matter now that you are lying in my arms, tongue eagerly stroking against mine, occasionally even entering my mouth.
I gently urge you to lay down, letting my hands roam over the smooth planes of your chest. Your nipples harden immediately under my teasing touch, making me go for them in earnest. I pinch those small brown nubs of flesh over and over again, taking delight in your shuddering moans.
But it isn't enough! Leaning down I close my mouth around your left nipple, sucking it hard while continuing to roll the other between my fingers. Ah, this is so exciting. Sure, I've done this before but I've never really paid attention to your reactions. Your pleasure was always a side effect that might come in handy at some points but by and large wasn't encouraged. Now that I'm concentrating on you I notice for the first time just how many different kinds of moans you are uttering - a strangled whimper when I suck even harder for a few seconds, a throttled little yelp when I bite…I could have went on with this for hours but soon your groans are getting more desperate, sweat slick body writhing frantically under me. Abandoning your nipples, my mouth travels over your torso, discovering sensitive spots at the most curious places. That spot right below your fourth rib for example - whenever I lick over it you emit a loud gasp.Kissing my way further down your body I slip my tongue into your navel, teasing it in circular motions. Your fingers are clawing at the blanket, your face a mask of rapt pleasure. Yes, that's what I've been longing for, to see you like that…When I reach your groin I find myself hesitating. I've never really done this before, never seen a reason to do something that used to have nothing in it for me. What if I do it wrong? But your lips always felt so wonderful on me - I want you to experience the same. Determined to not let myself be stopped I bring my mouth down on your hard member, tasting you, wringing a small, shocked scream of pleasure from you. I know what you are feeling now, little one, know it all too well. Trying to remember what used to drive me wild, I use my tongue on you, first slowly then faster and faster swirling it around the tip of your penis. I don't have all that much time to try new things on you because being unused to this kind of ministrations you reach your limit all to soon, filling my mouth with gushes of hot, salty liquid. So that's what you taste like, hmm? I kind of… like it.I should feel seriously appalled now, humiliated to have done a slave's work but to my surprise all of this seems to be quite okay with my ego. As long as it is you…Ah, but it isn't over yet. Kissing the velvety skin at the inside of your thigh I decide that I have given you enough time to rest. You stir faintly as I make you spread your legs further apart, head rolling from one side to the other. Careful not to scare you I start to tease at your anus, feeling the tight ring of muscles relax under my caresses. So responsive… You give a feeble moan as I eventually push one of my fingers into you. Does it hurt? No, you still seem to be quite comfortable, not even bothering to lift your head to see what I'm doing. You're probably used to this. I prepare you most carefully, patiently stretching your opening until I'm sure that you are ready. I smile as I notice that you're once again aroused. I wonder if you think me attractive. I know that many people do but what about you?I sigh as I eventually come to lie between your legs, the bittersweet knowledge that this is our last time together almost enough to make me hesitate. Almost. You've wrapped your arms around me, holding tightly to me while I slowly push into you. By now I'm sure that I don't hurt you but that doesn't mean that I'm less gentle. You are trembling ever so slightly, body taut as your hard length is pressed against my stomach. Kiss… I want to kiss…Our bodies move slowly against each other, hips lifting and falling in perfect sync. I just wish that this moment could last forever. We're one in this moment, bodies joined in every possible way - our mouths, our groins, even our hands are pressed tightly together, a wonderful, warm feeling radiating from each of these places. My past me must have loved you very, very much. No, I love you very, very much.All of a sudden you gasp into my mouth, sticky, warm fluid erupting between our joined bodies. Mere seconds later I come as well, face resting in the bend of your neck. I can feel your breath in my hair, your motionless body under me.
Unbeknownst to you I reach for the communicator, ordering the robot servants to bring some painkillers out here. I don't want you to hurt when it is time. Closing my eyes I allow myself to just lie here with you. Your presence is so comfortable, your warm arms around me making me want to stay with you for eternity. But that's what I will do - I WILL stay with you forever and ever…The next time I open my eyes I find a goblet with a red liquid in it beside me. So they have already brought it. You look up at me as I gently kiss your forehead, a mysterious little smile on your face. You know it, don't you? Making you sit up I offer the goblet to you."Here, drink this - it will take the pain away."
You drink without hesitation though by now I'm sure that you know what I'm planning to do. Don't you mind dying at all? Keeping my eyes on you I reach for my knife. It is time. I've got to do it now or the moment will be over. This mild summer night suits you so well…You readily hold out your arms, hands turned up so that I can easily slash your wrists. Blood is dripping to the ground, dyeing green grass red. Wrapping my arms around you I watch puddles forming, gently kissing your rapidly paling lips. Don't worry darling, I'm with you."I love you, Izumi, I love you - do you love me too?"
Of course you don't answer to this - can't answer. Your eyes are already closed, a soft smile on your face. You are dying. Well, now it is my turn, isn't it? Closing my eyes I try to concentrate on these emotions, willing them to me. I can feel my body twist and shudder but I just ignore it and keep my thoughts on the one important thing in the world - my love for you. Every single system in my body is complaining fiercely and then I'm finally all human again. I can hardly breathe, hardly see but that doesn't matter. I won't let go of these feeling again, never. I cling tightly to you though I know that it's no use. By now your body is nothing but an empty shell.
The world is dimming around me, the lovely scenery of the garden being replaced by the sterile, white rooms of a hospital. A doctor is standing beside me, a sad little frown on his face.
"I'm sorry, Nanjo-san but… we couldn't save him. Two of his ribs have pierced his lungs and that with the other injuries… His legs were completely smashed so maybe it was for the best… Nanjo-kun?!"I stand up and run, pushing past nurses and doctors until I reach the room where they have brought you, looking shocked at your lifeless form on the stretcher. No. You aren't dead - can't be. You've been with me mere hours ago and you have been so happy…An annoyingly loud blond boy is talking to me but I just ignore him, staring transfixed at your sweet face. You look as if you were merely sleeping…The next thing I know is that I've got a katana through my chest. Can't… breathe… My eyes slide closed.
Obediently I empty the goblet he has just handed to me, feeling its contents go straight to my head. 'This will take the pain away…'. Yes, take it away. Feeling a little light-headed I watch him take a dagger from his boot. He will kill me now. Maybe it is just due to the drug he has just given to me but I feel almost happy at that thought. I will finally be free again. I willingly hold out my hands when he moves to slice my wrists open. Nothing could be more welcome.Blood is spurting out of the wounds, lots of blood. I can feel my arms around me, his soft lips covering my face with kisses.
But… where am I? Confused I look at the lights of the city around me, unable to figure out what I am doing here. It is still night though the temperature suddenly seems to drop about 20 degrees. Snow is falling from the sky, melting on my heated face. I have been jogging. A dog is barking beside me and surprised I realize that it seems to belong to me.Before I know what I'm doing I find myself crossing a street, laughing merrily at the animal beside me. A car seems to appear out of nowhere, coming closer and closer until it hits me full force. The breath is knocked out of me as I'm catapulted through the air and finally land on the ground with a loud thud. Pain explodes in my body, making me want to scream. But I'm so weak… so horribly weak…A few seconds later I'm suddenly feeling alright again - that is, I hardly feel anything at all. Mere inches from me something is glittering on the asphalt. It is a cross-shaped pendant, large gemstones glowing brightly despite the lack of light. Instinctively I know that it is mine. I've got to get it - it is a present for HIM. Got to… get it…The moment I close my hand around it darkness descends upon me.
Closing my eyes I snuggle closer to Taka-chan. It's not cold or anything but I feel so much safer with his arms around me. We've long since left the capital and are now travelling through open land. So surprising to see that there are still people living unaffected by the war and its consequences. I've asked Taka-chan more than once if we could just stay here but he says that it just isn't possible. They would find us here.
He says that he will try to smuggle us to one of the more isolated colonies in the north. It is a risky plan but if we make it we will be finally safe. I know that Taka-chan can do it. A few days ago we heard that Koji-dono passed away and that now Hirose-sama has taken his place. He didn't seem to be such a bad guy, that Hirose. At least he seemed to care for his little brother. Well, that's none of our business any longer but at least it will buy us some time.
Taka-chan smiles and pets my shoulder, indicating that it is time for us to go on. Sighing I stand up and follow him to the car, hoping to find some sleep while we are on the road. But what do I care for sleep as long as we can be together?
A worried frown on my face I watch Hirose give
orders to the staff officers. He seems so different to what he has been
like before - always cold, always in control. He has lost his innocence
in these last weeks. Akihito's death has broken something inside of him
and now that he has taken Koji's place…They have already started to
change his body, implanting several electronic devices to make sure that
he is strong enough to carry this load. I laugh humorlessly at this. All
they do is weakening him even further, making him lose himself. To think
that he who's been so strong before - even strong enough to be different
- is now nothing but an frozen puppet. Finally the others leave the room
and he and I are alone.Heart aching at the pain in his eyes I step
closer and draw him into a tight embrace. He's rigid in my arms,
unwilling to let me comfort him. I sigh inwardly and let go of him,
putting some distance between us. He won't let me touch him any longer -
won't let anyone touch him. I'm so worried about him but there's just
nothing I can do. Wincing inwardly I realize that he's been talking
for quite some time now, asking me to take care of some things for him. "…and that boy who tried to help my brother
kill Koji - free him."I nod solemnly. I guess I'll just have to
learn how to cope with this new situation and make the best of it. Who
knows - maybe, after some time I'll even be able to get him back to
A worried frown on my face I watch Hirose give orders to the staff officers. He seems so different to what he has been like before - always cold, always in control. He has lost his innocence in these last weeks. Akihito's death has broken something inside of him and now that he has taken Koji's place…They have already started to change his body, implanting several electronic devices to make sure that he is strong enough to carry this load. I laugh humorlessly at this. All they do is weakening him even further, making him lose himself. To think that he who's been so strong before - even strong enough to be different - is now nothing but an frozen puppet. Finally the others leave the room and he and I are alone.Heart aching at the pain in his eyes I step closer and draw him into a tight embrace. He's rigid in my arms, unwilling to let me comfort him. I sigh inwardly and let go of him, putting some distance between us. He won't let me touch him any longer - won't let anyone touch him. I'm so worried about him but there's just nothing I can do.
Wincing inwardly I realize that he's been talking for quite some time now, asking me to take care of some things for him.
"…and that boy who tried to help my brother kill Koji - free him."I nod solemnly. I guess I'll just have to learn how to cope with this new situation and make the best of it. Who knows - maybe, after some time I'll even be able to get him back to normal…
Gunji and I are sitting silently in the dark, watching Hirose's coronation on TV. Bored I snuggle closer to my lover. Koji, Hirose - where's the difference? For us, nothing has changed. The only thing that worries me is Takasaka's and Katsumi's disappearance. I've known that those two were in love with each other but that they would go so far…Well, our new boss, Ryuichi, isn't bad either. He leaves us alone as long as we do our jobs well.When the door suddenly opens both our hands snap up. But… this isn't possible, is it? They have told us that he is dead! With a small scream Gunji jumps to his feet, throwing himself at Kimie in an uncharacteristic display of emotions. He's been thinking that it was his fault. I stand up and move to embrace the two of them. So good to have him here again. Kimie is smiling.