NEW LIFE by Ayumie
zurück zum Index
1 -- PART 2 -- PART 3
It is humiliating yet exciting, this
journey these 17 of us are forced to make. Humiliating because of its
purpose, the mere knowledge of where we are going and what we'll be
there. Children of mighty Lords or even kings each of us, we are going
to the imperial court to ensure our parents loyalty. Hostages, that's
what we are.
My siblings are chattering beside me,
pointing at everything that catches their interest. Yuugo is too young
to really understand that we won't go back soon and Serika... I don't
think she really minds. She'd have been married soon anyway so going
to court just means that she'll be able to chose among more men. That
is, if the Lord Emperor allows her to choose and not just gives her to
one of his allies out of political reasons.
I sigh softly. If my uncle just hadn't
housed those traitorous Lords. It just HAD to look as if he was part of
that conspiracy when they were arrested under our roof. Well, now it is
too late. Looking up into the blue sky, I can feel a tiny droplet of
sweat trickle down my temple. It is so warm!! Though we've long since
stopped wearing the heavy furs of our homeland we still suffer from the
heat. And in these hideous temperatures we'll have to spend the next few
All of a sudden the soldiers in front of
me start to cheer and yell. What is it? It takes quite some time until
I discover the reason for their extraordinary behavior but when I
finally do my heart skips a beat. Still far away, at the horizon, the
outline of a city can be seen, high towers of white marble glowing
brightly under the merciless sun.
The leader of the squad that escorts us
tells us in elaborate Latin that if things go well we'll arrive in the
capital before dawn. Our journey has finally come to an end. I can see
the joy in the soldier's faces and yet feel nothing but fear. These
men are coming home whereas I and the mine face an insecure destiny.
The sun already casts red shadows when we
pass the city's main gate, the otherwise white buildings shimmering rosy.
My sister claps her hands at this pretty picture and seems to be
thoroughly contend with being here in this strange country, far away
from everything we know. I'm probably being unfair but I'm a little mad
at her for being so easily impressed. Hoards of people are lining the
streets, gaping at the spectacle we barbarian hostages doubtlessly
provide. I sigh in relief when the bronze gates of the palace finally
close behind us. It is quiet in here, peaceful. Extensive gardens seem
to stretch into infinity, their lush green only interrupted by the white
complex of the palace buildings.
A few minutes later we reach the stable
area and are finally allowed to get off our horses. Our leader is just
about to tell us what to do next when loud yells and applause
interrupt him mid-sentence, a group of preciously clad young men and
women galloping into the place. The soldiers around us immediately
drop to their knees and many of my companions follow their example,
probably recognizing someone important among these guys. Only I and
two or three of the others remain standing, unwilling to show respect
to someone we aren't even able to identify.
The white horse of on of the riders is
snorting nervously, throwing its head back even as it is rearing
furiously. A beautiful animal. Looking up at its rider I find that the
man is grinning at me. I feel a faint blush spread over my cheeks at
that blatant staring. His long, silvery hair is fanning after him, his
narrow blue eyes glinting with amusement. Grabbing the reins in one hand
he points at me with the tip of his riding crop, shouting something in a
language I don't understand. The others around him cheer and applaud
then the whole group turns and disappears into the woods to out right.
By now I'm trembling with fury - those
bastards were making fun of me!! In the next seconds strong arms seize
me and separate me from my companions, dragging me away despite my
protests. What is going on? I just can't understand what's going on!
Why can't I stay with the others? I catch a last glimpse at my
siblings as they are lead into the opposite direction, shouting at
them to not worry about me. I'll be fine. I'm sure I will be...
They bring me into a large suite - suite?
I'm not sure if this is the right term for these rooms. It looks more
like a ... temple? At least it has the dimensions of a temple, the
ceiling twice a man's height. Gold and ivory adorn the walls and pillars,
gemstones the rare tropical woods the furniture. The mere splendor is
enough to dazzle me.
But... these aren't rooms they would
give to a simple hostage, are they? Royal blood or not, in the capital
I'm just one of many lesser Lords in the Emperor's shadow, not even
worth told what is going on. Hell not even my uncle, the king, has
rooms like these. They have to belong to someone really important. The
Emperor? I almost laugh at that. Sure, I'm in the emperor's chambers.
In the next second a group of chattering
servant girls enters the room, bringing me food and fresh clothes and
soap and towels to wash myself. One of them looks as if she wanted to
talk to me but the others immediately shoo her away, leaving my
Confused by their behavior I decide to
wash myself before eating. Wash - but where? Insecure I look around.
There are several door, a few of them conveniently open. Looking
through the closest one I find another room of gigantic dimensions
just that this one is obviously a bedroom. I shudder as I Look at the
big, silk-covered bed a strange sense of foreboding coming over me.
Turning I quickly close the door behind me. I don't like this.
Fortunately the next room I look into is
the bathroom with something that resembles a small lake in it.
Artificial and real plants make the rest of the room look like a
jungle, the water lilies in the pool adding to the impression of lush
vegetation. Should I... should I wash in there? Should I...? Could
Well, they brought me here and they gave
me soap and towels so obviously they want me to wash and since this is
the bathroom it's natural to use it, isn't it? Determined I pull my
dusty clothes off and step into the lake-like pool, sighing happily as I
feel the warm water relax my muscles.
I don't know how long I stay in here but
when I'm finally ready to get out I feel like I've just been reborn.
Not even the clothes they have given me - short, flimsy garments that
make me blush at the mere thought of wearing them - bother me.
Returning into the other room I find that the food is still standing
on the table, a huge goblet of wine standing right beside it. Wine? I
sniff distastefully, disliking the prospect of having nothing else to
drink. Strong liquid always goes to my head. Nevertheless I sit down
and eat, telling myself that I'll need my strength. After drinking
even half of the wine I feel dizzy, my head staring to spin. Oh no....
A small sound from the other end of the
room alerts my attention and I turn my head just in time to see a small,
hidden door swing open. I immediately try to stand up but fail miserably,
collapsing back into the chair. Blinking I look at the intruder,
recognizing the guy from before. He's dressed differently now, almost
plain though his high position is still more than obvious. What is HE
doing here? Are these his rooms? Am I here at his order? My head hurts...
Trying to hide my weakness I look right
into his face. His skin is pale, almost white, his eyes of a
stunningly vivid blue that reminds me of a winter sky. His long white
hair is falling down his back, a few strands tumbling over his
shoulders. What am I thinking? What am I...? He's smiling at me,
drawing closer. I can feel my heart beating faster though I can't tell
why. Maybe it's the way he's looking at me. He's moving faster now,
predatory. But what does he want? He's close to me, very close and
still I feel unable to move, to react.
"What is your name?"
"Why.. why are you asking this?"
"What, is it so uncommon that I want
to know my future bedmates name?"
B... bedmate? But that's impossible! I'm
a man - doesn't he see that I'm a man? In the next second he covers my
lips with his own, stealing a kiss. Unable to suppress a small scream I
scramble back, finally breaking from this almost trance. NO!!
I must have said this out aloud because
he chuckles softly and comes after me, an amused smile on his face. So
he thinks me and my protests amusing? A rush of adrenaline gives me
the strength to stand upright and square my shoulders. Glaring at him
I summon all of my authority.
"Bring me into my own quarters! You
have no right to keep me here! I'm the emperor's hostage and he'll
surely not be pleased if he hears that one of his noblemen has molested
"The emperor, little angel? He's a
cold man that cares little for his hostages except that they are alive.
You wouldn't want to meet him. No, you're much better off with me."
By now I'm trapped between him and the
wall, his lips mere inches from mine. I... I really don't wanna... In
the next second I find myself in his arms, his mouth hungry on my skin.
That's ... sick. The wine is clouding my mind, making me unable to think
coherently. I feel strangely weak-willed as he simply scoops me into his
arms and carries me into the bedroom. No, I don't want to... I'm sure
that I don't want to and yet I find myself unable to really fight him.
His lips, his hands work some kind of magic on me, lulling my will and
making my body feel heavy. No...
Hands are tearing at my clothes, pulling
them off so that I'm lying naked under him. There's no way out of here?
I turn my head away as he spreads my legs, not wanting to see what
will come next. The adrenaline is wearing off, leaving me burnt out,
He's touching me at places I don't even
want to name, doing things I've never heard of before.. Feeling
disgusted and faintly sick I try not to wince as he slowly pushes into
me, pretending that I'm not even here. No, I don't even need to pretend
it - I'm too far away be a part of this. Somewhere in the back of my
mind a door has been closed and I'm behind it, drowning in a sea of
oblivion. The alcohol together with my general state of exhaustion is
enough to numb me and that's all I'm asking for. And yet sensations are
battering against the walls around me forcing me to retreat even further.
No, I don't want to feel that pain. Away... I want to get away...
I can hear myself whimper, hear his
voice in my ear as he whispers endearments to me. Lies - all lies. I
hate... I HATE....!!! Away. From one second to the other everything
My head is aching. Sunlight - too bright!
Clenching my teeth I force myself to lie perfectly still, eyes pressed
tightly shut. The mattress shifts as somebody sits down beside me,
sending new waves of sickness through my agonized body. Is it... him?
Now I open my eyes after all. A boy is sitting right beside me, a merry
smile on his face. No tread....
He offers me a mug with a disgustingly
smelling liquid inside of it.
"Here, drink this. It'll make you
Eyeing him suspiciously I drink down what
he has offered me. I'd do anything to feel better. The boy is still
smiling. Something sharp is digging into my palm, hurting me. What the...?
Looking down I find that there's a necklace wound around my wrist, the
walnut sized rubies that form the pendant cutting into my open palm.
This... I don't even want to think about how much this is worth. I stare
wide eyed at the shining jewels, unable to understand why they are here.
The boy must have noticed my gaze for his smile broadens.
"They are wonderful, aren't they?
Oh, you must have done very well yesterday night if he gives you
something like this! And me, of course."
"Yes, me. May I introduce myself?
Katsumi Shibuya - your personal slave. I guess he figured you'd need one
now that you're officially his lover."
Lover? No. I stare down at the jewels in
my hand, seeing my reflection in them. Hateful. With something between a
sob and a scream I throw that disgusting piece of jewelry from me. Well,
if he thinks that it will be so easy he's mistaken! I ain't a helpless
slave like this poor creature, I'm a royal hostage and as such I have
rights! And those jewels - what does he think I am? A whore?! Yesterday
I was weak and drunk but today he'll learn my strength. I definitely
won't be his lover!! He... hell, I don't even know who he is!
The slave boy - Katsumi - looks at me,
fear and confusion in his eyes.
"M.. master? What are you doing? The
I can do nothing but stare at him.
"Why, of course. You didn't know?
The man you spent last night with is Nanjo Koji the Lord Emperor of
Unable to sit upright any longer I sink
back onto the bed. The Emperor... The boy is talking to me again but I
just wave him away, unable to listen to him just now. The Emperor. I'm
lost. For a moment I feel just as weak-willed as last night but then I
vigorously push those thoughts away. He might be the Emperor but what
right does he have to do this to me?! When my uncle sent me here he was
guaranteed my safety and well-being so how dare that bastard force me
into his bed?!
But it would be no use telling this my
new slave, would it? He wouldn't understand how I can even think about
rejecting the emperor's affection. Or should I say the emperor's lust?
Regaining some of my composure I order
Katsumi to get me some new clothes - preferably decent ones - and
something to eat. Within ten minutes I have everything I wanted and am
finally able to ask some more questions.
Yes, I have spent the night in the
Emperor's private chambers but I wont stay here but move into a suite
next to them. Yes, everybody knows what 'honor has been bestowed upon me'
and the other hostages are without exception well. No, I can't go and
see them immediately for the Lord Emperor has not yet given me
permission to leave these rooms - in fact he specially ordered me to be
left alone today so that I'd be rested in the evening. He also said that
he'd come back then to see how I'm doing. See how I'm doing - as if he'd
care! Well, at least this time I know what will happen and I have time
to think about what to do about it. There has to be a way to stop this
I'm trembling with nervousness long
before dusk, the plain, white tunic I've chosen for my meeting with the
Emperor already damp with sweat. But I am not afraid! I am not afraid...
Katsumi has long since left me alone,
not wanting to get into the way when the Emperor arrives. Well,
probably it's better like this. After he has tried to persuade me to
be happy about this whole thing for more than five hours my nerves are
starting to wear thin. Is it so hard to understand that I just don't
WANT to become his lover?
Footsteps in the hallway announce the
arrival of my unwelcome host so I quickly sit down at a desk, forcing
myself into a semblance of calmness. He mustn't notice just how upset
I really am! Once again he makes a surprising entry, using the front
door instead of the small one that joins our suites.
He's dressed in blue today, his long hair
braided and wound around his head, disappearing under a circlet, the
only outward sign for his position. He's looking at me, a small smile
playing over his lips. My enemy.
"Are you contend with your new rooms,
little angel? Or would you rather live with me in my own chambers?"
Forcing myself to stay calm I pick up the
necklace and hand it to him.
"I believe you've forgotten
something this morning."
"You didn't like my present, then?"
He throws the necklace away without even
looking at it.
"Well, in this case I'll get you
something else. What would you like, hmm?"
"I want nothing from you! I ain't a
whore that gets paid for its services!! Bring me back to the others - I
don't wanna be here!"
For a second he just stares at me then he
actually starts to laugh. Bastard!!
"I think you don't understand your
position, little angel - what you want is no consider. You've been mine
ever since you first set foot on Serionan ground. I could call in the
guards and have them hold you down while I have my way with you. I could
give you an aphrodisiac so potent that you'd be begging me to touch you.
But... this is not what I want."
Slowly, step by step he is coming closer,
reaching out to touch me. I can feel his hands on my hips, on my
"I want us to be lovers. I want you
to be there when I come into my bedroom in the evening. I want you to
feel pleasure when I touch you. Little angel...."
No, I won't let myself be lulled again!!
Giving a small, furious scream I bolt, trying to hit him. He catches my
fist midair, an almost feral expression in his face. For the split of a
second he looks like a wild animal. Shit, I never realized!! He's strong,
very strong. He holds my wrist in an iron grip, hurling me around so
that I'm tumbling towards the bedroom. Oh god...! Shoving me through the
door he forces me down onto the bed, efficiently pinning my wrists above
my head. He'll rape me again, won't he? Quickly loosening the sash he
uses to hold his robe around his waist he ties my hands together before
I can as much as blink. Once I realize what he has done I struggle
furiously but I already know that it's no use. He has me.
However, now that I'm not able to fight
him any longer he doesn't seem to be in a hurry, languidly pulling at
the ribbon that holds his hair up. Seconds later the smooth white
stuff is falling down his shoulders and into his face, partly
shielding it from my sight. That's good - I don't want to look at him.
He seems almost dreamy as he undoes the
brooch that holds the widths of cloth over my shoulder, baring my chest.
I can feel tears sting in my eyes. Why is he doing this to me? I'm sure
there are hundreds of young nobleman throughout the whole country who'd
die to take my place right now. So why??
I don't struggle as he pulls off my
tunic completely, trying to gather the sorry remnants of my dignity.
"I know what you are thinking now,
little angel but be assured that I won't hurt you. Yesterday I was very
... impatient. I wanted to savor your beauty, to make you mine, so I did
it too fast. It needn't always be like that, you know?"
Not always like this? What is he talking
about? Of course it is always like this. My nursemaid often told me that
there is always pain when a man lies with a woman and since we're both
man it is only logical that it hurts even more. And yet his hands on my
body feels strangely pleasant.
Despite my minds furious protests I let
my eyes slit close and I find myself relaxing. What is he doing? This
feels almost like a massage. His hands roam over my chest, fingertips
brushing briefly over my nipples. Wha...?! For the split of a second a
strange sensations surges through me and I find myself shuddering.
What's this? I wait for a few seconds but when nothing happens I
decide that it was probably just belated shock. Nothing I have to
"I'm wondering little angel, have
you ever touched yourself?"
Eyes snapping open I give a small,
shocked gasp, vehemently shaking my head. Of course not!! Touching
oneself isn't right - everybody says that. No decent person would do any
such thing! He chuckles softly, his hand resting briefly on my groin.
"So pure, little angel. Completely
innocent to the ways of pleasure. But I'll show you, I'll show you..."
Frowning I try to make sense of what he
is saying. Pleasure? How demented can a person be to take pleasure in
such an act? I'm sure that my uncle would rather see me dead than in the
arms of another man! His hands have taken up their occupation with my
body again, languidly caressing my chest. And then there's that feeling
again. His fingers have found my nipples, rubbing them in circular
motions. I hold my breath, waiting for the feelings to subside but they
just won't go away!! My nipples are tightening into hard, little kernels,
almost aching with the sensations he's forcing onto them. Surprised I
notice that I'm breathing faster, sweat oozing from every pore of my
body. What is going on? I gasp helplessly and strain against my bonds,
trying to escape his questing fingers. It's no use. Despite my furious
protests he continues his tormenting, teasing touches, wringing more
moans from me.
From one second to the other his hands
are gone and I sob with relief, hoping beyond sensibility that it is
already over. But he won't stop without having his needs fulfilled, will
He puts his hands to either side of my
face, forcing me to look into his eyes.
"You are still afraid, little angel
but you are also starting to get ... aroused. That's good."
His mouth is so very close to my, his hot
breath fanning over my skin. Feeling that my lips want to part, to
invite him in, I clamp my mouth tightly shut, denying that I feel
anything but apprehension. DO I feel anything but apprehension?
For the first time since I've arrived I
start to analyze my feelings and what I find almost has me panicking.
I feel pleasure. That hot, burning sensation that has been spreading
throughout my whole body for the last 15 minutes is pleasure! Not any
kind of pleasure I've ever experienced but doubtlessly here and
I wince as his hot mouth descends upon
my neck and he starts to suck and nibble at my throbbing pulse,
probably leaving red marks on my skin. Lovebites. Tomorrow everybody
will see what he's done to me. How can I hate this and want more at
the same time? It's just plain wrong what I'm feeling! Perverted...
And yet my treacherous body is arching against him, demanding
something he's all too willing to give. Oh god, I want more!!
I groan as one of his hands moves down to
cup my rising member, disgusted at the thought of having somebody
touching me where I hardly dare to wash myself. A strange, tight feeling
is spreading through my groin, making me shift my hips against him in an
hopeless attempt to find some ease. His grip tightens around me, making
me want to scream.
Having concentrated on what is happening
down there, I've failed to notice what his mouth has been doing so
that I'm pretty surprised to find that it has already reached the area
below my navel. What is he DOING there? He doesn't want to...? No, he
couldn't - he wouldn't! That's so sick. I press my eyes tightly shut
praying that my suspicion will prove wrong. Of course it doesn't. I
scream as his soft lips touch the tip of my penis, overwhelming
pleasure and mind-numbing fear mingling to a desperate outburst. I
throw my head back into the pillow, my body as taut as a bowstring.
One more second. One more second and...
He has pulled back because I can as much
as blink, leaving me in a state of mindless distress. Too out of breath
to even talk all I can do is produce small, frantic moans in the back of
my throat, wordlessly begging him to release me. He smiles softly,
comfortingly petting my cheeks. He won't let me come now, will he?
Halfheartedly straining against my bonds I watch him as he takes off his
tunic and boots, reluctantly giving into my curiosity. He's absolutely
gorgeous. Strong muscles flex under his flawless, white skin, his whole
body quivering with tension. I gulp nervously, as he slowly takes his
pants off. Not daring to look down any further I fix my eyes on his
broad chest though this isn't exactly safe territory either. His nipples
are hard already, pink little rosebuds waiting to blossom. I almost
laugh at this metaphor. I've really lost it, haven't I? Finally I look
down after all, my eyes widening as I see his sex. I haven't ever been
so scared. That... that was in me yesterday - will be in me soon again.
He's much bigger than me and so very hard. His hand is stroking my cheek
again, feeling heavenly cool against my burning skin.
"There little angel, it isn't that
bad, is it? You don't dislike my body, that much I can see. Just relax
now - I promise I won't hurt you."
Yes, he will but I don't care. I just
want him to get down there again, to finish what he has started so
effortlessly. He seems to have finally heard my silent pleas for he
slowly slides down my body, my head sinking down in anticipation. But
what is he doing? This is too low, too low! My face reddens even more as
I realize what he is doing. His moist lips have just ignored my weeping
member and sneaked between my buttocks, lapping at the small, puckered
opening they find there.
That... that's too much. For the first
time I really start to struggle, furiously tearing at my bonds. No.
Nonononono!!! Trying to jerk my hips up and away I find that he has a
secure hold on them, keeping them down with barely an effort. And yet
his tongue on me - in me - is starting to feel good ... so very good
Tears of shame are running down my cheeks
even as I start to let go, my body melting against him. This pleasure is
different from the last, softer and gentler and enveloping me and
feeling so sweet.
Though I am still crying I don't fight
any longer - my body wouldn't obey me anyway. When his soft mouth if
replaced by probing fingers I don't even wince. Now the pain will come.
Shuddering I feel him press into me, his fingers coated with some slick,
cool substance. His gentleness astounds me. It... doesn't hurt - why
doesn't it hurt?!
Feeling that I'm tensing up again he
places a hand onto my stomach, soothing the trembling muscles. About a
minute later he has positioned himself against me, the tip of his
member nudging firmly against my opening. He smiles as he pushes
forward, his eyes closing in rapture. To him this surely feels great.
He's big and hard and filling me and making me feel all stuffed. I
don't understand how anyone can do this willingly.
He has started to move, languidly
thrusting in and out of me. All of a sudden he hits something inside of
me, sending a hurricane of sensations through me. My body twists and
arches desperately, trying to get him to move faster, to feel that again
and again and again. Through half closed eyes I watch his face as he
pounds into me, seeing his bliss, his ecstasy and knowing that it can't
be anything compared to what I'm feeling. Yet it makes me proud to think
that it is me who entices these reactions. A sense of power surges
through me, sweetening the pleasure he forces onto me. Mmmmh...
Soon our bodies are frantically moving
against each other, each of his thrusts making me scream. He has
closed his hand around me penis, rendering me completely helpless.
Precum jets from the tip of my member, making the tight tunnel of his
fingers slippery. I can feel that everything in me is trying to
achieve an ultimate goal, straining to reach a special point though
what this is I can't tell. I only know that I've got to get there - as
soon as possible.
I want to throw my arms around him and
pull him even deeper into me but they're still tied firmly together. My
heartbeat is thundering in my ears and again only one sentence is
circling through my mind. One more second.
His shoves are getting harder yet,
rougher, and I welcome it. At one particularly deep thrust I give a
wailing scream and for a second my vision blurs. The world consists of
nothing but feelings, of nothing but MY feelings. This is pure bliss,
pure ecstasy. For a few seconds the tears that are staining my cheeks
are happy tears and I'm infinitely grateful for him to have take me
here. This is paradise. My worries seem far away, my life that of
another person. He is the only thing that still connects me to reality
and for a moment I almost love even him. Almost.
Then I'm hurled back into my body, away
from that blissful world I've so recently discovered. No, I want back!
I can't move, can't even open my eyes. And why would I open them? I'm
so tired. Warm arms settle around my waist and eventually I fall
The sun is shining onto my face. Mmmh,
warm. Stretching contently I pull the sheet tighter around me, slowly
opening my eyes. From one second to the other realization hits,
shattering my peaceful, little world. Pictures are dancing in front of
my eyes. He has done it to me again. I shudder convulsively as I
remember some details of last night, misery welling up inside me. He
has... he has... Why...? Why is he doing this to me?! Tears are
gathering in my eyes, starting to run down my cheeks. I do nothing to
stop them. After more than two days of holding back I finally give into
my despair and cry. Yesterday I would have been mad at myself for such
weakness. Yesterday there was still hope. I curl into a tight ball,
pulling my legs against my chest in a fetal position. I can't help but
sob even as I'm screaming into the pillow though I know that nothing I
can do will make this pain go away. Nothing.
I flinch as a soft hand touches my
shoulder. Katsumi? Yes, it is him though the usual merry smile on his
face has been replaced by a worried frown. When he sees my reddened eyes
and tear-streaked cheeks he bites his lower lip. I wish he'd just go
away! He puts his arms around me in an obvious attempt to comfort me but
I just turn my head away. I don't want his pity.
"Master, I know what you must be
feeling right now but please, don't let this destroy you! There are a
few things you need to know. I didn't want to tell you first because the
Lord Emperor after all is a very ... attractive person and I hoped that
maybe you as most of the others would eventually fall for him but now...
Anyway, you have to listen to me now: the Lord Emperor is still very
young and changes his lovers often. Though you might hold his interest
now this won't last long. Eri-sama, whose place you have taken lived
here no longer than three month which was an exceptionally long time.
Right now there is absolutely nothing we can do to get you out of here
but in a few weeks things might be entirely different. Please, master -
Izumi - think about it! The emperor can be very generous - you, your
family, you will have everything you desire! You have no idea what good
such an relationship can do for all of you! Your sister Serika already
has the status of a High Lady and a dowry big enough to marry any man
she wants. And your younger brother! The Lord Emperor has already
ordered for him to receive the education of a bastard prince - his
carrier at court is ensured! Besides, even if you managed to insult the
Lord Emperor in a way that would make it impossible for him to keep you
as a lover any longer don't you realizes the consequences? Everybody
around you would be affected. Please! You have to think about this
logically - emotions are good but in such situations you have to
concentrate on the facts and what is the most reasonable way to proceed!"
He.... is right. I can't risk to endanger
"So what should I do?"
"Offer yourself to him - be eager,
willing. If he doesn't have to fight for you he won't enjoy it that much.
Become what he wants you to be and sooner or later he will leave you
alone. What are a few months compared to the rest of your life?"
Very slowly I nod.
Three months - threes month he has said.
I laugh bitterly, once again recalling that conversation Katsumi and I
have had over a year ago. A year, a whole goddamned year, has passed and
he still calls me into his bed every evening, still makes me feel that
searing pleasure whenever he sees it fit.
After four months Katsumi was surprised,
when half a year had passed he was starting to worry and when Koji, as
I have been told to call the Lord Emperor, finally gave a great
banquet to celebrate our first year together he said that he just
didn't understand it. But what does it matter to him after all? Though
he's the closest thing to a real friend I have he just doesn't
understand what it means to have to endure an unwelcome touch every
night again and again, trapped into a treacherous body that keeps
surrendering to the enemy. I think he feels honestly sorry for me but
in the end he's content to live in the palace as the respectable
servant of the Emperor's favorite. Everybody around me seems to be
content with the way things are.
Serika is in love with one of the lesser
nobleman and as far as I know they are planning to marry before winter.
I can't bother her with my problems now that she's really happy for the
probably first time in her entirely life. And Yuugo? No matter how much
I love him, he's just a little boy who is started to live a new life not
too long ago - I life I have no part of. In fact I haven't seen him
since more than two weeks. Koji is a very ... exhausting lover. Yes,
everybody seems to be content - everybody but me.
It's boring. I should have never agreed
on riding out with Eri and those sheep friends of hers. Holding
audiences isn't exciting either but at least it is something to do.
"Hey, aren't the new hostages
arriving today? Why don't we go and take a look at them? Maybe there
are a few pretties among them."
I have no idea who has just yelled this
but it sounds like a good idea. Nodding graciously I turn my horse and
set out for the stable yard where I suspect the hostages to be. The
others are following me, obviously as enthusiastic about this idea as
I am. We must have really been bored. Going at top speed it takes us
no more than five minutes to reach the stable, about three dozen heads
snapping around as our horses come to a slithering halt.
- Slowly, one after the other, the
people in front of me drop to their knees, showing me their respect.
In the end only two or three of the hostages are left standing.
Defiance? No, merely shock or stupidity or both, I judge as I look
into the eyes of the first girl, a mousy little thing that probably
wouldn't even dream about contradicting anyone let alone me. But
there ... what is it about this one? As I look into the eyes of the
boy closest to me I'm spellbound. Such fire. There's will in this
one, spirit, intelligence. The furious defiance in his eyes
fascinates me, calls out for me to try and replace it with love and
gentleness and dedication. Yes, I want to make this boy adore me.
Give the boy's beauty it might even be
worth the difficulties. Deliberately slowly I lift my riding crop and
point at the boy, marveling at how his eyes reveal each of his
"This one! I claim this one for my
Without saying anything more I press my
heels to my horse's flanks, sending it galloping towards main
buildings. The guards and servants will know what this means and will
see to it the boy is treated properly and prepared to my approval.
This evening he will be brought to me - this evening he will be mine.
- The sun has long since set when I
finally manage to leave the great hall, hoards of noblemen and
ambassadors having kept me occupied for at least four hours. I all
but rush through the corridors, going as fast as my dignity will
allow. The thought of that fiery boy waiting for me in my bedchamber
has made me hard long ago, constantly gnawing at my patience. Oh
gods, if I don't get into my chambers soon...
- In front of the door to my suite I
take a few seconds to compose myself. Letting the boy get the
impression that I'm not in control of myself would do no good.
Eventually I open the door and enter, immediately seeing my soon to
be lover sit at the table. He's even more beautiful now that he's
washed and clad in fresh clothes though one can still feel the fire
beneath that well-groomed facade. He tries to stand up but
immediately starts to sway, helplessly falling back into his chair.
Chuckling inwardly I notice the empty goblet of wine beside him.
More than a little tipsy, aren't we. Good. This will make it easier.
I swiftly cross the distance between us, stopping only right in
front of him. His eyes are slightly unfocused, confusion having
replaced the fierce defiance that has been in them before.
"What is your name?"
"Why... why are you asking this?"
"What, is it so uncommon that I
wish to know my future bedmates name?"
I lean down and press my lips to his,
unable to resist their sweet temptation any longer. The first taste of
him is overwhelming. Such sweetness. I'm just about to deepen the kiss,
to feed from those irresistible lips until I'm satiated, as the boy
jerks away, catapulting himself away from me with a speed I wouldn't
have given him credit for. Mmmh, I was right - such spirit!
I smile amusedly and just follow him,
taking no offense in his resistance. He will be mine soon enough and
willingly so. He seems to be sober again, the alcohol probably
overpowered by an immense rush of adrenaline. Sober and furious.
"Bring me into my own quarters!
You have no right to keep me here! I'm the emperor's hostage and he'll
surely not be pleased if he hears that one of his noblemen has
I can hardly refrain from laughing. So
he still doesn't know who I am. All the better - like this I at least
won't have the impression that he's spreading his legs for my crown.
Though it probably won't take him long to find out the truth I decide
to play along for now, this little lie even heightening the thrill.
Ah, how I want him. I can still taste him on my lips...
"The emperor, little angel? He's a
cold man that cares little for his hostages except that they are alive.
You wouldn't want to meet him. No, you're much better off with me."
I have him cornered now, unable to run
away any longer. Remembering that delicious taste of before I lean
down again though this time I kiss not his mouth but the fragrant skin
of his neck. He's trembling ever so slightly, his heart beating in a
frantic rhythm as I can feel at the pulse that throbs under my lips.
The temperature suddenly seems to rise several degrees and
instinctively I pull the boy closer against me, relishing in the feel
of his silky skin. His close proximity turns me on in a way I could
have never predicted, making my mind reel and setting my body on fire.
Have to get him into bed... now....
- Barely realizing that his struggle has
ceased I lift him up and swiftly cross the room, carefully laying
him down onto the soft mattress of my bed. For a few second I look
down at him, taking in every detail of that intoxicating body. The
boy's eyes are half-closed, a lovely blush coloring his cheeks,
sun-tanned bronze skin tinged pink. His flimsy silk tunic is all
crumpled and out of place, the cloth so tight over his chest that I
can see his nipples through it. Need to get it off...
Too impatient to be bothered with the
numerous ties and clasps I simply rip at the fabric, roughly baring
the boy's chest. Considering his seeming innocence I should maybe be
more careful but he doesn't protest and to tell the truth I'm far too
aroused to pay much attention anyway. What is it about this boy that
makes me so damned hot?! Moaning I rub my hardness against the velvety
skin at the inside of his thigh. Through the haze of arousal I realize
that the boy is still lying motionless under me, my pleasure clouded
mind translating this into yielding. Yes...
- Frantic to learn that exquisite body,
I run my hands over it, a multitude of impression flooding my brain.
Soft, soft skin, small, peaky nipples, rounded buttocks that fit
perfectly into my palms, hard muscles... so delicious.
- Unable to wait any longer I grab the
boy's hips and pin them onto the mattress, eager to discover those
other parts of his body. He's perfect there as well, not overly big
but well-shaped and seized. Spreading his legs further apart I let
one hand travel down between the boy's buttocks, probing his exposed
anus. Oh god, this will feel...!
Moaning helplessly I position myself
against him, the tip of my penis nudging against his opening. I have
to close my eye, afraid that just seeing that sweet body penetrated by
my erect sex would be enough to make me loose it here and now. Can't...
- Giving a low growl I enter the boy
with one hard thrust. I tremble helplessly as his tight heat grips
at me, desire washing every coherent thought away. Gods. Within
seconds I have worked myself into a frenzy, roughly holding the
boy's hips in place while thrusting in and out of you. I can't
remember having ever felt such pleasure. A small scream of triumph
escapes my lips as I bury myself to the hilt one last time, shooting
my seed deep into him.
- I'm panting heavily, sweat trickling
down my body and making me shudder. So delicious. I haven't felt
such passion in - hell, I can't remember having EVER felt it before!
Looking down at the boy I find that he is unconscious. Slightly
disquieted I notice that he obviously hasn't come. I was too
impatient, wasn't I? Sighing softly I lie back and mentally rebuke
myself for my thoughtlessness. Just acting on my desires like some
kind of animal...
There's something unbearably obscene at
having this boy's unconscious body lying here beside me naked, with
his legs wide spread and his soft mouth swollen from my kisses. Acting
on this sudden impulse I pull one of the sheets over him, covering
that body that has given me such unbelievable pleasure mere minutes
ago. His face has gone slack in his sleep and for the first time he
seems to be at ease. Sweet. I briefly think about sending him away and
have him sleep somewhere else but immediately reject that idea. I
wouldn't know where to put him anyway now that it is clear that I will
keep him as a lover for a while and he can't go back to the other
hostages. He's mine now - I won't let him go ever again!
- Now where did that thought come from?!
'Won't let him go ever again' - he's just one bedmate among many. I
shouldn't get so possessive over him. And why would I? Sure, his
face is pretty and his body without flaw but it is a common kind of
attractiveness. Among my nobleman there are more than ten more
extravagant beauties, both male and female. And yet there's
something about this boy that has my heart beating faster. Well,
maybe if I keep him around long enough I'll find what exactly this 'something'
Suddenly feeling mortally tired I pull
my little angel tighter against me, slightly surprised at how
perfectly he fits into my arms. Mmmh, and he smells nice too. For the
split of a second his face seems to shine from inside out. Truly an
angel? Smiling softly at this thought I let my eyes slide shut.
- I rise even before dawn, carefully
disentangling myself from my lover's sleeping body. I allow myself a
soft smile as I look down into his face. I ... want to give him
something. Walking over into my dressing room I quickly rummage
through my jewelry box, looking for something that would suit the
boy's dark beauty. Given my pale complexion I own mostly silver,
emeralds, sapphires and diamonds, stones that reflect, much light
and don't make me look too colorless. For my little lover something
entirely different is called for. When I finally find something
fitting I exhale in relief. It is a golden necklace that goes along
with rubies whose size match a child's fist's. Perfect. There seems
to be fire in those stones, the same fire as I've seen in your eyes.
Carefully placing the jewelry into the
boy's open hand I look into his lovely face one last time, gently
kissing his parted lips goodbye. Once I've closed the door behind me I
call for the servants, telling them to dress me and fetch Takasaka for
the morning audience.
- Soon my chief chamberlain is standing
in front of me, rubbing his hands nervously while I explain to him
what I want to have done this morning.
"... Ah, there's one more thing:
My little angel is to move into the rooms next to my own ones. I don't
want any doubts about his position at my court - or in my heart."
"Bu... but your majesty, doesn't
Eri-sama live in these rooms?"
"Well, then tell her that she has
to find something else. She has enjoyed our hospitality long enough. I
don't want to see her again."
"Y.. yes your majesty."
"And of course my new lover will
need a personal slave. Find somebody suitable. How about that boy you
talked to me about last week? Use him, if you please."
Having considered my last words as a
command to go and execute my orders immediately, Takasaka is already
half out of the door when I remember one last thing.
"Ah Takasaka, wait! My little
angel, I have forgotten to ask who he is, haven't I?"
"Well, actually you have, your
majesty. He is the nephew of the sovereign of one of the less
important northern kingdom - a pretty small and desolate place if I
may add. But there's something else that might be of interest for you
majesty: the reason why we suddenly saw it fit to demand hostages from
this special kingdom is that three of the Lords that tried to
overthrow you this spring went straight there. This young man's uncle
took them in and housed them until our troops arrived and arrested
them. Unfortunately we were never able to prove that that king had
knowledge of the Lords crimes. A most strange coincidence
"So my little angel is a
"Not necessarily. As I said, it
was never proved."
"And his name?"
"Izumi. Takuto Izumi."
"Very well Takasaka, I see you are
as well informed as ever. Now go and do as I told you."
Eyes still narrowed I watch Takasaka
leave the room. A traitor? Angrily shaking my head I push that thought
as far away as possible. Not my pure little angel. This evening I go
directly to my lover's new rooms, not even entering my own suite. The
boy's sitting in an uncomfortable looking wooden chair, obviously
doing his best to look nonchalant but failing miserably. His eyes are
slightly widened, the white cloth of is tunic clinging to his sweaty
body. He is ... scared of me? I try to smile reassuringly at him
though it doesn't seem to do any good.
"Are you contend with your new
rooms, little angel? Or would you rather live with me in my own
Obviously that wasn't the right thing
to say since the boy frowns angrily and quickly gets to his feet. He
pushes something into my hand but steps back immediately afterward,
not wanting to be close to me. Looking down I recognize the necklace
I've left with him this morning. Why?
"You didn't like my present, then?
Well, in this case I'll get you something else. What would you like,
"I want nothing from you! I ain't
a whore that gets paid for its services!! Bring me back to the others
- I don't wanna be here!"
He... he dares? For a moment I don't
know whether to laugh or to be angry. This little boy is telling me -
the Lord Emperor of Serion - that he doesn't want me, something nobody
has ever dared before. Dropping the necklace I decide that I like his
insolence. Now I really start to laugh, earning myself an angry stare
not even Eri would be able to match. Delightful. He really doesn't
understand at all.
"I think you don't understand your
position, little angel - what you want is no consider. You've been
mine ever since you first set foot on Serionan ground. I could call in
the guards and have them hold you down while I have my way with you. I
could give you an aphrodisiac so potent that you'd be begging me to
touch you. But... this is not what I want. I want us to be lovers. I
want you to be there when I come into my bedroom in the evening. I
want you to feel pleasure when I touch you. Little angel...."
I talk to him as if he was a frightened
little animal, never taking my eyes off him but constantly drawing
closer. He stands still even as I put my hand to his hip, small
tremors shaking his body. So confused. For a moment it seems as if my
words have the desired effects, his eyes close and he relaxes against
me. However in the next second he jerks away, hand rising in order to
- Oh no, you won't!! Instinctively I
reach out and block his blow, hand closing around his wrist. That
insolence that has been cute and endearing mere moments ago is now a
serious affront. Fury washes through me and acting on this impulse I
roughly force the boy to follow me into my suite, making him lay
down on the silk sheeted bed. He is mine and by the gods, I'm gonna
make him acknowledge it! Still more than a little furious I tie him
up, simply wrapping the sash I've been wearing around those slender
wrists. When I'm done I look down at his bound form, my rage slowly
fading away. No, I don't want to hurt him, not really.
Suddenly feeling more than a little
tired I sit down and unbraid my hair, desperately thinking about how
to proceed. I don't want to rape my little angel. No, I have to make
him feel pleasure, have to make him enjoy it. Maybe having him tied up
isn't that bad after all. With him being unable to move I'll be able
to focus completely on pleasuring him. A small smile plays over my
lips as I imagine all the wonderful things I can do to him. But for
most of them I need to undress him first.
- Careful not to scare my little lover
more than I already have I bare his torso, longing to once more feel
that perfect bronze skin under my fingertips. But that will have to
wait. It takes quite some time to peel the tunic the boy is wearing
off, for though it is a relatively simple garment he isn't
cooperating at all, letting me do all the work. He's still afraid,
isn't he? Maybe I should say something...
"I know what you are thinking now,
little angel but be assured that I won't hurt you. Yesterday I was
very ... impatient. I wanted to savor your beauty, to make you mine,
so I did it too fast. It needn't always be like that, you know?"
He doesn't believe me, I can see it in
his eyes. Well, then I'll just have to show him. I let my hands roam
over his chest, tracing the lines bones and muscles form on my little
angel's body. As my fingers briefly toy with one of his nipples the
boy's body is shaken by a tremor, the small nub of flesh hardening
instantly under my touch. Not having expected such a strong reaction I
pull my hand away, somewhat surprised at my little angel's sudden
receptiveness. Probably yesterday he was just to drunk to react
- But why, if such a little touch can
give him so much pleasure, won't he let himself be seduced? Doesn't
he know how good I can make him feel?
"I'm wondering little angel, have
you ever touched yourself?"
Surprisingly my little lover seems to
be seriously offended by this question, shaking his head and glaring
at me in indignation. That explains everything. I don't know much
about the northern countries this boy comes from but obviously their
outlook on certain topics is rather ... old fashioned not to say
archaic. Probably he has never even considered to indulge into carnal
pleasures before the marriage bed let alone with another man. Well,
now he is my little angel and I'll see to it that he'll be cured from
his narrow-mindedness soon enough. I let myself touch the boy between
his legs for the split of a second, almost bursting into laughter at
his shocked little gasp.
"So pure, little angel. Completely
innocent to the ways of pleasure. But I'll show you, I'll show
Taking up my occupancy with my little
lover's body I caress his sleekly muscled chest, loving the way his
pectorals tremble under my fingertips. His erect nipples draw me like
honey the flies and soon I find myself teasing them mercilessly. The
boy reacts beautifully, writhing and moaning softly whenever I pinch
these small nubs of flesh. Eyes that have been looking at me with
something between hatred and fear all along are now pressed tightly
shut, face all tense with the effort of not letting show what bliss my
little angel is in. Such sweetness. But I want him to look at me.
- Gently cupping the boy's face I turn
his head so that he has to look at me, smiling at the way he is
"You are still afraid, little
angel but you are also starting to get ... aroused. That's good."
My eyes are drawn to my the boy's
mouth, the memories of our previous kisses suddenly predominant on my
mind. I frown in disappointment as those sweet lips are suddenly being
pressed tightly together. He does know how to force his point.
- I decide to kiss his neck instead,
gently grazing my teeth over the tender skin of his throat. He makes
some small, dismayed sounds as I continue to attack that sensitive
area, his body obeying his will no longer. You are mine, little
- Seeking to distract the boy I close my
hand around his already hardened penis, massaging it gently to wring
more groans from him. Once more his reaction don't disappoint. If
he'd just let go of his silly inhibitions he'd be such a passionate
creature. Eager to learn that body even more intimately my mouth
slowly kisses its way down his chest, leaving a wet trail that
glistens suggestively in the candlelight. I can't help but lick my
lips as I reach his groin, his hard sex inviting me to lean down and
taste it. I know that I'm probably shocking my little angel but I
want it so bad and in the end it will do no harm. He gives a soft
scream as I finally close my mouth around that alluring piece of
But you're getting too close! I manage
to pull away just in time, your distressed whimpers showing me the
intensity of what you must be feeling. Trying to comfort you a little
I caress your face. Poor little angel.
- Remembering that I myself am still
fully dressed I set to take off my clothes, smiling inwardly as I
feel the boy's eyes on me. Though he's probably not all that
comfortable with what I'm doing he obviously can't keep himself from
looking at me. To my surprise there's something close to admiration
in his eyes. Deliberately slowing down my movements I pull my
trousers off, wanting to give my little angel something to stare at.
The boy's blushing again, looking incredibly lovely.
"There little angel, it isn't that
bad, is it? You don't dislike my body, that much I can see. Just relax
now - I promise I won't hurt you."
He is looking calmer now, calm enough
for me to try and take the next step. Again I bury my head between
those slender legs though this time I don't move to kiss your hard
length but aim for that small, hidden crevice between your buttocks.
As I've expected you're more than a little surprised as you feel my
tongue at that most private part of your body. Now I'm glad that I've
tied the boy up before because all of a sudden he starts to struggle
and might have well ended up landing a few blows on me had he not been
securely bound. Fortunately his little fit of temper is over as sudden
as it has begun, his body relaxing and getting easy to handle again.
- Glancing at the bedside-table I notice
contently that a small vial of oil is standing there. I have to
remember to reward my servants tomorrow. Coating three fingers of my
right hand with that slick, scented substance, I start to prepare my
little lover, trying to be as careful as possible. I want him to
enjoy it this time.
I push the tip of my index finger past
the tight ring of muscles that guards the boy's entrance, feeling it
clamp down on me, trying to keep me out. Why won't he relax?!
Desperate to make him loosen up I caress his hip and stomach, all the
while carefully working my finger deeper into him. It seems to take an
eternity until he shows the first signs of yielding and longer still
until I have finally the feeling that he's ready. Despite all my
efforts my little angel winces as I penetrate him. Did I hurt you
after all? But I can't go back now. I'm too aroused ... far too
- As slowly as I can I force myself
deeper into you until I'm buried to the hilt, praying to god that I
don't cause you too much pain. Though I try to remain motionless as
long as possible I soon begin to move, unable to get that body of
mine under control. With every second that passes I thrust a little
faster, making that slender body under me tremble and shake.
All of the sudden the boy gives a gasp
and his body shudders convulsively, his face a mask of intense
pleasure. That's it! Now that I know what to do, in which angle to
thrust, our bodies are soon moving against each other, a shiny layer
of sweat smoothening the moves.
- By now the boy is panting just as
heavily as I am myself, his erect penis bobbing enticingly right in
front of my eyes. Growling I reach out and grab it, roughly
massaging it to see more of that bliss in my little lover's eyes. I
moan at the feel of strong legs being wrapped around my waist, my
hard sex sliding even deeper into the boy's yielding body. Yes, this
is what I've imagined it would be like. For a few minutes the two of
us are in heaven, the world consisting of heated flesh,
pleasure-filled gasps and the body of one another. My little lover
is just as frantic as I am, writhing and straining to get closer to
me. I shudder and moan throatily as his hips rise from the mattress,
my pace getting even faster in these last few seconds. Finally I
give a small, feral growl and thrust deep into that deliciously hot
body one last time, the world dissolving into pleasure.
The next time I open my eyes I find
that I've collapsed on top of the boy, my harsh breath stirring the
soft strands of hair at your neck. Those beautiful dark eyes are half
open but seem to look right through me. Looks like I've made you black
out again. My fingers are trembling as I untie you, exhaustion and
fatigue making it impossible to move more efficiently.
The boy doesn't even seem to notice
what I'm doing but just lies there, remaining motionless even as I
pull him close and rest my chin on the top of his head. What comes
next is something of a surprised. As soon as my little angel finds
that he can move freely now he wraps his arms around me and snuggles
close, sighing contently as if that was what he has been wishing all
along. I yawn and enjoy the feel of his warm body beside me, soon
almost asleep myself. Tomorrow I'll see to it that my little angel
gets a present he really likes.
In the next morning the first thing I
do is call Takasaka to me again, feeling more than ever inclined to
make my little angel happy.
"Well, Takasaka the present I gave
to my little angel - he didn't want it. No, it was my fault. He
generally doesn't seem to be interested in jewels and such things.
You've done some research on his background and things, haven't you?
Tell me, what could I do to make him happy?"
"W.. well, he has two siblings he
seems quite attached to. They have been sent here as well. Serika, 14
years old and Yuugo 9 years old. Maybe if you did something to improve
He looks incredibly insecure though he
has just made an excellent proposition. Yes, that sounds just like the
kind of favor my little angel would appreciate.
"Very well. The girl, Serika,
shall be called Lady from now - HIGH Lady - and be treated likewise.
Double, no triple, her dowry. She shall be able to chose her husband
among the highest of my nobleman. And Yuugo... the best that can be
offered to little boys is education, isn't it? Well then, send him to
school with the royal bastards. What are you waiting for? Go!"
Contently I watch my chief-chamberlain
hurry off, knowing that my commands will be executed as fast as
possible. It's a pity though that I won't be there to see my little
angel smile when that slave boy of his will tell him. Well, this will
make him happy and that is all I ask for.
Though my thoughts are far away I
manage to smile and nod at all the right times, not letting my
ministers see just how distracted I really am. I'm thinking of you, of
course, of the year we have spent together and how happy you have made
me. Nobody has ever fascinated me the way you do, nobody has ever
roused such emotions in me. I love you. I know that the whole court is
buzzing with rumors about my devotion to you - no lover has ever been
so cherished, has enjoyed so many privileges. People are already
starting to say that they have two emperors.
- Well, my little angel deserves nothing
less. You must have had such a hard life at the crude mountain
castle of your uncle so it's only fair that I try to make up for it.
Were you a woman I think that I'd have married you long ago but as
things are spoiling you a little is all I can do. But how I love to
give you things, to see those dark eyes shine whenever I have
something new for you. And yet there's something profoundly unhappy
about you, an air of sadness that remains no matter what I do.
I sigh softly at the thought of that
forlorn expression that steals over your face every now and then,
wishing that you'd just tell me what is wrong. This should be a time
of happiness for you - your sister will marry soon, your brother is
about to be made a page and you yourself are beloved by the most
powerful man in the world. What more could you ask for?
- I frown as I notice that Takasaka is
coming up beside my throne, looking more nervous than ever. I nod
almost imperceptibly, giving him leave to speak. He whispers a few
words into my ear, his voice so hushed that I can barely understand
"Izumi-sama's uncle is here, your
majesty and wishes to talk to you. Izumi-sama has already been
informed and is on his way to him. The old king is waiting in your
study - he seemed quite ... agitated."
I nod again and Takasaka retreats. Your
uncle? Here? I end the council at the next possibility, telling the
ministers that I'm too tired to be bothered with those petty problems
- I rush immediately to my study but
find that you're already in the room, a loud voice that presumably
belongs to your uncle echoing through the corridors. Frowning in
concentration I try to understand the words. I don't like what I'm
"... Or were you just busy
offering your ass to the Lord Emperor?! Oh no, you shut up now, boy! I
always thought that my brother if not anything was at least able to
produce favorable offspring but now you disappoint me as well!! Oh,
what have I done to deserve his?! Three children and none of them is
any good! A boy that doesn't even remember what his homeland looks
like, a girl that is now a 'High Lady' - ha, high whore, that's what
she is! - and another boy that spreads his legs for every tramp and
lets himself be fucked like a girl! A girl, that's what you
Cold rage is welling up inside of me.
Who does that disgusting man think he is that he dares to say such
things to you? That horrid old man is to blame for all your problems
and fears concerning our relationship. He's responsible for your
sadness. Bastard! I force myself to calm down a little before I enter
the room. Strangling a subordinate king that is visiting my court
wouldn't be the cleverest thing to do no matter what stupid and
intolerant a man he is.
When I finally enter the room my breath
catches in my throat. How... how DARE he?! The fist of the red faced
man that is standing right in front of you is raised in a way one can
not misinterpret, the tension in the room almost unbearable. Had I not
come in now he'd have actually hit you. That loathsome person that has
been threatening you mere seconds ago is now kneeling down now, bowing
his head to show his respect. Looking at his exposed nape makes my
hand itch for my sword.
I give no sign of even noticing the man
but immediately walk over to you, wrapping my arms around your slender
form. You are trembling, I notice, probably from fury. Poor, little
thing. To think that you should be related to THIS. I lick at the
tender skin of your throat, tasting salt and that special mix of
flavor that is undeniably you. Feeling the tension in you I finally
deign to acknowledge your uncles presence, allowing the man to stand
- Nothing that person says to me in the
next ten minutes comes even close to making me change my mind about
him so finally I send him away without fulfilling even one of his
requests, unable to endure his presence any longer. Unthinkable that
this guy has anything in common with you. Noticing your troubled
expression I gently stroke your hair, telling you to not worry about
that old fool, that he will leave soon and never bother you again. I
will protect you.
Unfortunately I have to leave you alone
all too soon, the desperate sounds Takasaka is making in front of the
door, catching my attention. Probably I've forgotten something
important again. Well, what does it matter - I've saved a maiden is
distress, haven't I? Little angel...
- Later, in the evening I return to my
chambers, frowning in surprise when I find them empty. Shouldn't you
be here? Well, you've probably just gone outside to think - your
uncle's visit seems to have shaken you pretty badly. I lay down and
try to read a little. It's no use! I just can't concentrate without
knowing that you are well and not sitting somewhere and crying your
eyes out. The next twenty minutes I spend staring at the closed
door, willing you to come to me and let me comfort you. When you
finally arrive it is already dark, long shadows making it impossible
to see your face clearly.
- For long seconds you stand motionless
by the door then, ever so slowly, your hand moves to your shoulder,
pushing away the straps of cloth that hold up your tunic. What
I suck in a sharp breath as the soft
folds of cloth give way and slide down your arms and chest, revealing
smooth bronze skin and lean muscles. Now what is this all about little
angel? Seduction? But there's no need for you to seduce me - I'm crazy
for you. I watch silently as you take off the rest of your clothing,
afraid that anything I might say or do would scare you away.
Eventually you're standing naked in front of me, beautiful body
trembling ever so slightly. Are you scared, little angel? On the verge
of crying? Or merely excited?
- I can feel a familiar tinge of arousal
in my loins as you slowly walk towards me, each of your feline moves
bringing you closer to me. Though my teeth dig themselves into my
lower lip I still refuse to show any reaction, telling myself that
it's probably best to just let you do as you please.
- When you reach the end of the bed you
drop to your hands and knees, gracefully crawling towards me. You
stop only when you are right in front of me, a sensual promise in
your eyes. Ah little angel, what are you trying to prove?
I can't help but moan as pull at the
drawstrings of my trousers, the trembling of your fingers making you
clumsy. My head falls back as one of your hands sneaks into my pants,
fingertips brushing over my rising member. For some strange reason you
are trying to make me really hot - and succeeding effortlessly if I
may say so.
- Impatiently pulling the silk of my
trousers down my hips you lean down, letting your breath fan over my
heated flesh. Demon. I'm burning little angel, every cell of my body
a glowing ember that threatens to spread into a wildfire every
second, and all of that's you're doing. My hips rise from the
mattress on their own accord, trying to get closer to you, to be
touched by those perfectly shaped lips that seem so close... so
- But you would never do this, would
you? You've always been like this - receiving pleasure and letting
me take mine but never really an active part of what's happening.
No, you have never really done anything to pleasure me - not that it
would have been necessary. Your mere presence is enough to arouse me
Feeling the tip of your tongue on me is
so much of a shock that I hardly realize what is going on. Oh gods...
- My body spasms uncontrollably, my
hands coming down to grasp your hair, fingers twining into that
silky hair. Holding my breath I wait for you to touch me again,
giving small, needy whimpers to show just how much I want this. When
your mouth finally descends onto my weeping member I have to bite my
lip hard to keep from screaming. Gods, I've never imagined...
- Being engulfed into that moist, hot
cavern is pure bliss, your tongue a merciless tormentor that never
ceases to find new ways to delight me. Half-mad with desire I force
you to open your mouth wider, to swallow me deeper. I want release
now ... but I also want this to last as long as possible... I
want... I want...
All too soon my over-sensitized body
isn't able to take this any longer and surrenders to your sensual
- With a small scream I eventually come
into your mouth, sensation charged darkness descending upon me. My
whole body seems to be a cluster of nerves, stimulated and
overwhelmed by rivers of fire that are still flowing from my groin.
- Good... so good...
When I reopen my eyes I find that your
face is right above mine, beautiful eyes wide open and filled with
tears. Did I hurt you? Did I...? Did...?
"Koji say, do you love me?"
With something close to a sob I pull
you close and cover your face with kisses, telling you that of course
I love you, that you are my everything and that I'd never let anything
happen to you. You must be so very scared.
- You've snuggled up against me, arms
wrapped tightly around my waist, face buried in my chest. You seem
almost desperate, a confused child, clinging to the only hold that
is still left.
"Koji, please, I want ... I
You press even closer to me, making
clear that you want to be touched. Of course I'm all too happy to
oblige, gently caressing your trembling body. After some time when you
seem to have calmed down a little I let go of you and carefully lower
you onto the mattress, immediately moving to kiss the smooth expanse
of your chest. Today you seem to be exceptionally receptive to
tenderness so I do my best to show you that you are loved and
cherished above everything else. For once you don't try to fight the
pleasure I give you - in the contrary, you accept it, open yourself to
it in a way I've never seen in you before. You're really starting to
worry me, little angel.
- I loose myself in the task of
pleasuring your body, in the minute responses I get every time I do
something you like, the sounds you make and the way your chest is
heaving under my teasing mouth.
- All of a sudden your hands are in my
hair, pulling me back up, interrupting me. What is it?
"Koji... I... I..."
Looking into your face I find that you
are crying despite the thunderstorm of pleasure I can see in your
eyes. Little angel...
- My penis is once again hard and ready,
pressing wantonly against the soft skin between your legs as I lift
your legs over my shoulders. Is this what you want, little angel?
Despite not having been prepared properly you don't seem to feel any
pain as I enter you. You immediately arch against me, urging me to
go deeper, to make you mine completely. Having been satisfied a mere
half an hour ago, I take my time now, slowly moving in and out of
you. This is gentle lovemaking, tender and slow but breathtakingly
intense nevertheless. We're moving against each other in perfect
sync, breathing into each other's hair and clinging to each others
body. You are beautiful... so very beautiful...
- But you are still crying, aren't you?
Why?! Why, little angel? What did he do to you that upset you so
much? I can feel that I'm starting to cry as well, my tears dripping
onto your lovely face and mingling with yours.
Soon we start to move faster after all,
your obvious desperation transforming into some strange kind of sexual
energy that even makes you claw at me to get me to take you harder.
Finally, with a small scream, you climax, the way your ass tightens
around me making me come right after you. Orgasm is short but intense,
leaving behind a shale taste. Somehow this didn't feel right. I didn't
really comfort you little angel, did I? You're still as sad as before,
lying there with your eyes closed and your arms wrapped tightly around
yourself. Sighing softly I pull you against me, resting my chin on the
top of your head.
"What is it, little angel? Do you
have a wish? Is there anything I can do for you?"
You bite your lip and refuse to look at
me, a sure sign that you are nervous. Silly, little angel, by now you
should know that you have nothing to fear from me. Finally you seem to
have made up your mind to speak after all, for you open and close your
mouth several times, looking quite desperate.
"K... Koji, my... I... I've been
thinking that... I have been here for over a year now and ... and I
miss my home. I wanted to ask you if maybe you would allow me to go
back - not for long! I'd be back even before my sister's marriage! So
"I'm sorry, little angel but
that's quite impossible. You are a hostage after all - what would the
parents of the others say if I'd just let you return home whenever you
wanted? They're envious enough already. Besides, you know how much I
love you. I don't like the thought of being without you."
"But couldn't you just come with
me? I mean ... if you traveled north it would look as if it was out of
political reasons and nobody would think anything of it if you took me
with you. But of course you don't have time for something like
You lay your head onto my chest again,
looking utterly defeated. But that idea of yours - I like it. I don't
think that I've ever visited the northern kingdoms before so it's
about time that I let the people there look at their emperor. And I
could see for myself how my commands and new laws are executed in far
off areas of my empire. Furthermore there's that thing with your
uncle. Treason is always a touchy affair and letting a suspect just
get away is not exactly my idea of dealing with it. Accompanying you
on a short visit home would be a welcome possibility to examine things
and judge for myself. Well, and in the end it would make you happy.
Maybe that sadness I've noticed about you was a result of you being
homesick? Yes, this trip sounds like a very good idea indeed.
- You must have misinterpreted my
silence for you curl up and close your eyes, not saying anything
"I will talk to Takasaka about
this. I think that a trip north would be a very good idea."
You remain silent even at that but I
can feel your arms tighten around me, your way of showing me your
gratitude. I understand, little angel. You don't have to say anything.
Not anything at all.
- Takasaka doesn't have any objections
and even says that he himself would have suggested something like
this soon. I smile and let him think that my consent is important to
me though in reality I've long since made up my mind.
Since a big part of my court is going
to travel with us out of representative reasons the preparations take
about three month. Food is to be brought here and be preserved, the
land we will travel through being not rich enough for so many people
to feed of. Carriages and gear are to be repaired or bought, the lord
emperor's travelling tent not having been used for almost 20 years.
Many of the noblemen that are going to accompany us have to send home
first to fetch various things they will need, mainly warm clothes and
battle horses they didn't bring with them to court this summer season.
I have a whole new wardrobe made for both myself and my little angel
for my old clothes are hopelessly out of fashion and yours - I don't
even want to think about the crude things you've brought with you.
- You are so awed when the tailors
finally deliver their works, looking wide-eyed at the many chests
full of the finest cloths. I smile softly at the small sound you
make as you discover that some of this must be for you, the colors
of about half of the garments some I'd never chose for myself.
Now that we'd be ready to go Serika's
marriage is coming up and knowing how much you love your little sister
I decide to postpone out departure for another week.
- When it is finally time to set out you
are so nervous you can hardly sit still. I've used this possibility
to give you a new horse, a sturdy little mare that will do well on
long distances. You love animals - one can never go wrong giving you
one as a present. I smile at the page that brings my own horse, a
robust, white steed that has carried me into war more than once. I
have another little surprise for you. Though having been made a page
mere days ago your brother Yuugo is going to come with us, his new
duty being to look after the lord emperor's luggage. I'm sure you'll
be happy to have somebody to talk about your home with later on.
- Mounting my horse I nod at the captain
of the guard, giving the sign for our departure. Here we go.
"Master! Master, you are to come
into the Lord Emperor's study immediately! There's a man waiting there
who says that he's your uncle!"
I stand rooted to the ground, unable to
believe what I've just heard. My uncle? Here?! That's impossible,
isn't it? Why would he come here...? I can feel myself pale, fear
welling up in the pit of my stomach. There's only one reason why he
could have taken the hardships of this long journey upon him. He
knows. He knows what I have done - am still doing even in this second
- the shame I have brought over our family. I wish I could just run
and hide in my rooms but I cant bring myself to do this. For a moment
I even wish that the Lord Emperor - Koji, as I have been told to call
him - was here to back me up and protect me from the old man's wrath
but I immediately scold myself for that weakness. I have to go and
face this on my own. I ain't a woman that can hide behind someone
Slower than necessary I walk towards
the Lord Emperor's study, treading the upcoming confrontation. I have
to do this myself, I keep repeating, I just have to somehow cope with
my uncle's anger. Biting down on my lower lip, I push the door open
and enter the room, finding that the man that is waiting inside indeed
is my uncle.
- He doesn't move as I slowly approach
him but his face is very red and the small vein that always
appears on his forehead when he is furious is throbbing madly
under his thin skin.
"So there he is, my poor,
tormented nephew, the pitiable hostage of the Lord Emperor. Even too
depressed to write letters home, weren't you? Or were you just busy
offering your ass to the Lord Emperor?! Oh no, you shut up now, boy!
I always thought that my brother if not anything was at least able
to produce acceptable offspring but now you have disappointed me as
well! Oh, what have I done to deserve this?! Three children and none
of them is any good! A boy that doesn't even remember what his
homeland looks like, a girl that is now a 'High Lady' - ha, high
whore, that's what she is! - and another boy that spreads his legs
for every tramp and lets himself be fucked like a girl! A girl,
that's what you are!!"
Panting the old man stands in front
of me, one hand lifted as if he wanted to hit me. I feel furious and
guilty at the same time.
"Serika isn't a whore."
"You talk back to me?! You DARE
to talk back to me?!!"
I swallow hard as he takes a step
forward, sure that he'll hit me now. A second before his fist
connects with my jaw a velvety voice interrupts him and he stops,
breathing heavily at the effort of keeping himself in check.
"Is there any problem, little
angel? This ... man is your uncle I suppose?"
Koji. Recognizing the Lord Emperor my
uncle drops to his knees, a useless gesture of respect I've
abandoned long ago. Not that I didn't kneel in front of him more
often than I'd like anyway. Koji is drawing closer to me, languidly
wrapping his arms around my waist, provoking my uncle even more.
Still, I'm glad that he is here even though I feel incredibly guilty
for this fact.
- Trying to punish my uncle for what
he has just tried to do to me he lets him wait on his knees for
several minutes, all the while nuzzling my neck. I wish I'd just
faint. I'm trembling with shame and at some point even Koji
notices my discomfort and lets go of me, asking my uncle to stand
up and tell why he has come here. All in all those two of them say
no more than a few words to each other - hardly surprising
considering their obvious antipathy.
Finally my uncle gets ready to leave
though I can see that he as only said half of what he wanted to say.
Now that Koji is here he doesn't dare to insult me anymore.
Officially sharing the Lord Emperor's bed is a honor after all. I
shudder as I see the look in the man's eyes. He really does hate
- When my uncle walks past me he
quickly slips a small piece of paper into my hand. Koji has to
leave soon after him so that I have the opportunity to read my
uncles message undisturbed. 'Meet me at dusk in the palace
gardens.' I stare at the note for several minutes, not knowing
what to make of it. What does he want - yell at me some more? It
wouldn't be so bad if he wasn't right. He is so very right about
me - in the end I really am a worthless whore.
- I've grown accustomed to this place,
to being Koji's lover. Sometimes, in the night when I was lying in
Koji's arms I even felt ... content. I snort contemptuously. So
that's what has become of me - a cheap whore that sells itself for
a safe position and comfort in cold nights. There's no excuse ....
there's just no excuse ...
At sunset I pull a cloak around me
and sneak into the gardens, hoping that the evening audience will
last long enough for my absence to remain unnoticed. I don't have to
wait long. Almost immediately after I've passed the big fountain in
the center I notice a dark figure in the shadow of one of the
hedges. My uncle. Once again he doesn't move as I slowly walk
towards him though this time his stance isn't quite that
disapproving. He even seems to try to look friendly.
"Nephew, I was very harsh to you
this morning. I said things about you and your siblings I shouldn't
have said, things that weren't quite true. Can you forgive me?"
I nod slowly, trying to figure out
what is going on. He... is apologizing to me? Why?!
"I know that what happened
wasn't your fault. You didn't want this any more than I did. The
only thing I could possibly hold against you is that you have given
up but even that is ... forgivable."
Tears are welling in my eyes, tears
of shame and relief that he is actually forgiving me. He has never
meant much to me - in fact I always thought him a coldhearted old
man - but except for my beloved siblings he is the only family I
have after all. Frantically trying to keep myself from crying I
finally burst out.
"Uncle is there something I can
"Yes. Yes nephew, there is
indeed something we could try. Talk to the Lord Emperor. Get him to
visit our land - that shouldn't be too difficult for you, should it?
Once both of you are there we will talk to him and when he sees how
happy you are back at home he will surely allow you to stay. And I
need you back at home - you are my heir and the crown prince. Do you
understand, nephew? All you have to do is get him to visit the
northern kingdoms then we will find a way to set you free."
"And Serika and Yuugo?"
He sighs, slowly shaking his head.
"They have to stay here. He
won't let go all his hostages at one time. Besides, Serika is going
to marry, isn't she? She wouldn't stay to live with us anyway."
Slowly, very slowly, I nod. I don't
really think that this plan of his will be successful but I miss my
homeland and who knows? Maybe it will work out after all.
- I immediately hurry back into my
rooms but despite my efforts Koji is already there, lying on the
bed and smiling at me as I arrive. Convince him to let me go back
... but how? Closing the door behind myself I lean against it,
looking thoughtfully at his still form. Maybe... maybe I could...
- My hand seems to move on its own
accord, slowly pushing the silk cloth of my tunic down my
shoulder, acting on a half formed idea. Before I realize what I'm
doing I'm already half naked. Gods, what AM I doing? But it's too
late to stop now - I have to go through with this or I'll make a
complete fool of myself.
- Pressing my eyes tightly shut I take
off my trousers as well, moving slowly in what I hope to be a
seductive manner. I can feel his eyes on me and can't help but
remember what they look like at times like this. Blue pools that
seem to be frozen over but infinitely hungry nevertheless, desire
lurking in their bottomless depths - eyes that attract and
frighten me at the same time. No, don't think about that now,
Takuto, think about what you have to do.
Desperately trying to keep my body
from trembling too much, I cross the space between us. I mustn't
hesitate. I mustn't falter. But why doesn't he do anything?! His
seeming indifference disquiets me more than anything else. Usually
he'd have long jumped me by now, taking the pressure of having to do
something myself off me. Not so today. He doesn't do anything even
as I climb onto the bed and draw even closer.
- Koji... please!
- He is aroused already, his hard sex
clearly outlined under the thin silk of his pants. Forcing myself
to not just run turn tail and run, I touch my fingers to that
impressive bulge. He groans appreciatively and lifts his hips from
the mattress, obviously enjoying himself immensely. But that's
what I wanted isn't it? This was my idea, all of this. So why am I
feeling so insecure - insecure about myself, him, the
righteousness of this whole situation. Ain't I loading even more
guilt onto me, now that I'm trying to use sex to manipulate him?
No matter what he has done to me, this can't be right.
And yet I find myself pulling his
pants down his hips, watching myself as if I wasn't even part of my
body any longer. Maybe ... maybe, if I can keep up this wall of
detachment I'll actually manage to get through with this.
- His engorged penis is right in front
of my face now and I gulp nervously. I've never seen him from this
close though I can't say that I actually dislike it. It's just...
unfamiliar. So strange that the mere sight of this organ that has
touched me in the most intimate way possible is enough to
profoundly confuse me.
- Again my body acts without waiting
for my minds decision, leaning down and touching the tip of my
tongue to that flaring member. A multitude of flavors explodes
into my mouth - sweet, salty, spicy, mild, everything at once. I
pull back a little, shocked by my own courage. Did I really just
do that? Did I really just LIKE that? I bite my lips in confusion,
trying to sort out my jumbled thoughts and feelings. I want... I
don't want... I want... - oh god, how am I supposed to...?
His fingers twine into my hair,
urging me to continue and I comply quite willingly, simply letting
him take over control. As he starts to thrust into my mouth I'm
finally able to banish all those thoughts from my mind, welcoming
the comfortable blankness that descends upon me. There's nothing
important except the task at hand any longer. When I close my eyes
his taste and scent flood my senses, his loud groans echoing in my
empty mind. It is even quite pleasant to be doing this - the sense
of power, the feel of loosing myself completely in somebody else.
And then of course there's that familiar tightening in my groin. Oh
God, what is wrong with me?! I can't like...! I just can't...! I
really am a whore. A few seconds later my mouth is filled with hot
seed, that strong body shuddering violently under me. At a loss of
what else to do I swallow, feeling Koji's member softening even as I
lick it clean.
- Finally I manage to lift my head and
look into his face. He is ... beautiful. For no apparent reasons
tears are welling in my eyes. Why ... why am I crying? A worthless
whore like me shouldn't cry. I'm hurting... I'm hurting so much...
"Koji say, do you love me?"
I almost clamp my hand over my mouth.
Oh gods, what did I just say? But it's true, isn't it? I need to be
loved - not so much by him as by anyone at all. I feel alone, so
- He embraces me and showers kisses
onto my face, whispering words of devotion and tenderness and
undying love into my ear. For once I don't try to shut out his
declarations, loving the way his voice sounds just now. It is all
raspy and breathless and so very soft. I can hear the smile in his
- But I'm confused, so confused.
Hundreds of half-formed thoughts are jumbling in my mind, making
my head ache and spin. I can't bear this - not here, not now. I
don't want to think at all! He - he can make it stop! He can
always distract me, always.
"Koji please, I want... I
I almost yell at him, desperate to
get him to do something. Make me forget, Koji, please, just make me
forget. After a second's hesitation he crushes me against his chest
, petting and stroking me as if calming me was his only prospect.
But this isn't what I want.
- Finally his caresses heat up and I'm
can to submit to myself to those sensations, all too happy to be
finally able to just let go. He is in control now and nothing of
what's happening is my fault. I'm not responsible. Surely I'm not.
- But it still isn't enough! It feels
great but it just isn't enough. Doesn't he understand that all I
want him to do is to finally get on with it and fuck me until I
don't even know the meaning of the word responsible any longer?!
Trying to get him to look up at me I twine my fingers into that
beautiful hair of his, tugging gently to make him lift his head.
With a small moan of disappointment he complies, locking his eyes
with mine. I must be still crying for his expression softens
instantly, a small frown marring his otherwise flawless forehead.
Suddenly I realize that I don't even know what to say.
"Koji... I ... I ..."
He seems to have understood for he
pulls my legs apart and places them over his shoulders. God, yes...!
I grit my teeth as he pushes into me, the pain almost as welcome as
the pleasure. Closing my eyes I try to breathe deeply, letting
myself relax against him. The first thrusts he makes are very slow
and gentle, bringing fresh tears into my eyes. It is good to have
him in me, reassuring. This at least will never change. He will
always want me, always. But I'm starting to think again, ain't I?
Make it stop Koji, please make it stop.
- I start to arch against him and
really meet his thrusts, frantically trying to get him to move
faster. Koji being Koji I don't have to wait long. Soon he's
pounding into me, sending wave after wave of mind numbing pleasure
through my already over-sensitized body. The world around us just
stops existing, nothing but the next thrust, the next contraction
of muscles of any importance. I can hear myself scream
The next thing I know is that I'm
once again lying in his arms, face nestled into the bend of his
neck. Is it over? Still dazed I try to make sense of what has just
happened. I just don't understand myself. To loose control in such a
- Closing my eyes I try to convince
myself that I'm falling asleep now. I don't want to think about
any of this just now - in fact I don't think that I'll ever want
to think about it but knowing myself all I can do is postpone it
for a little while.
"What is it, little angel? Do
you have a wish? Is there anything I can do for you?"
I swallow hard as I hear his voice,
the original reason for my initiating this love-making predominant
on my mind again. Now would be the right time to ask, wouldn't it?
Why does it feel so wrong, then?
"K... Koji, my... I... I've been
thinking that... I have been here for over a year now and ... and I
miss my home. I wanted to ask you if maybe you would allow me to go
back - not for long! I'd be back even before my sister's marriage!
So please, Koji?"
"I'm sorry, little angel but
that's quite impossible. You are a hostage after all - what would
the parents of the others say if I'd just let you return home
whenever you wanted? They're envious enough already. Besides, you
know how much I love you. I don't like the thought of being without
"But couldn't you just come with
me? I mean ... if you traveled north it would look as if it was out
of political reasons and nobody would think anything of it if you
took me with you. But of course you don't have time for something
My voice falters and finally I tell
myself to just shut up and quit making an idiot out of myself. Well,
what did I expect? That he'd say 'well, fine go back any time you
want'? Sure. I really should stop being so unrealistic. He is the
Lord Emperor after all - why would he want to do anything that would
lessen his comfort?
- Smiling bitterly I close my eyes. He
has never really cared for what I'm feeling. NEVER!
"I will talk to Takasaka about
this. I think that a trip north would be a very good idea."
My eyes snap open. Did... did he just
say that he would...? A lump is forming in my throat and I almost
burst into tears again. He's actually considering doing this for me?
He probably WILL do this for me. Talking to Takasaka - as if
Takasaka had any influence on what he's doing. As far as I can tell
'talking to Takasaka' is a synonym for 'generally it's OK with me
but I don't want to say yes yet'.
- A small smile steals over my face as
I snuggle up against him. I can't remember having ever felt so
happy in his presence. It feels... it feels as if we were really
lovers. Lovers ... I and ... Koji?
At the day of our departure I wake up
at five o'clock in the morning and immediately sneak out of bed, too
excited to lie still any longer. Quickly putting on a robe, I look
out of the window, happy to see that though Koji is still fast
asleep hundreds of slaves and servants are already preparing
everything. Dozens of heavy looking boxes are heaved onto carts,
horses saddled and troops sent to make sure that the road is clear.
Finally, finally it is time. The last few months have been an ordeal
of waiting - nothing went smoothly and whenever everything seemed to
be ready a new aspect surfaced that had to be taken care of
- All of a sudden strong arms are
wrapped around me, pulling me back against a powerful chest. Koji?
"Awake already, little angel?
You really can hardly await it, can you? But will do me a favor?
Wear some of your new clothes - you look utterly adorable in
I blush a little as I think of all
the things he has bought for me. He must have spent a small fortune
on cloth and tailors, not too mention all the gemstones and jewels
that go along with it. I don't even know when I've started to accept
his gifts - in the beginning I thought it more than insulting to be
offered things as a reward for my having sex with him though now I
know that this is just one of his more eccentric ways of showing
affection. But he's spending way too much money on me
- Well, no is definitely not the right
time to think about this. Of course it's out of the question to
wear such precious garments on a journey that will force us to
stay on horseback for the longest time of the day - they would be
ruined before the first two days are over. As I tell him so he
shakes his head and chuckles softly.
"But that's what they were made
for, little angel. They were made to be worn by you on this journey.
What would you do with them once we're back? Here it never gets cold
enough for them to be useful."
I gasp in surprise as I realize just
what he has just said. So much money spent on something that won't
be used for longer than two or three months?! This is crazy!
"Now don't pull a face, sweet. I
told you I liked the way you look in them. But shouldn't you get
dressed now? We'll be leaving soon."
Breaking from his grasp, I nod. He is
right. We really should hurry up. About an hour later we finally
step out of the gloomy interior of the palace and into the sun, the
tension in the air so obvious it seems almost solid. A small shudder
runs down my spine as they bring the horse I will ride - it is also
one of his present, one that I liked even better than the clothes. I
briefly pet the little mare's neck and she nuzzles my upper arm. I
think that she likes me. Koji nods briefly and we get onto our
horses, trumpets announcing that are leaving now.
- After ten hours on road my
enthusiasm has worn out, having been replaced by a tiredness so
all-encompassing I threaten to fall from my horse every second.
Gods, what I'd give for a hot bath and my good old bed. My eyes
are half closed even as I pretend to be directing my horse and I
only open them when the trumpets sound again and everybody around
me comes to a halt. Is it over?
To my surprise there's no castle
anywhere around - not even a cottage at that. What is he doing,
stopping at a place like this? Only when servants start to unload
the carts and unwrap huge rolls of cloth I understand that we are
going to stay here for the night after all. Camping? I sigh softly,
unable to muster much enthusiasm for spending a night in a damp tent
with nothing but a few blankets to shield me from the cold. I've
gotten soft, haven't I?
- To my shame I'm so stiff that Koji
has to help me down from my horse, my muscles so sore I can hardly
move. Maybe it's good that we stay here after all - I couldn't
have gone much further. Actually I'm about ready to drop dead.
Tomorrow will be hell. Yawning I stagger after Koji towards a tent
that seems to have materialized out of nothing. Sleep?
- My jaw drops as I finally enter the
tent. This... this is incredible. I don't know how but somehow the
decor and furniture of one of Koji's rooms in the palace has been
brought here and arranged artfully in the small space the tent
provides - even a real bed is standing in one of the corners.
Unable to stand for even one more
second I collapse into a nearby chair. I just wanna sleep. But I'll
have to wash first, won't I? I'll close my eyes just for a few
seconds. Just... for a few... seconds...
"Checkmate, little angel. You've
He smiles and cocks his head, one
eyebrow raised, daring me to ask for a return match. Of course I'd
never be granted one - I've lost fair and square, as he would say,
and now have to face the consequences. He motions for me to come to
him and I obey, letting myself be pulled into his lap. His hands
immediately start to roam over my body, seeking out places that they
know will be receptive to their touch. I moan softly but immediately
clamp my mouth tightly shut, desperate to not let any sound escape.
- Guards are positioned all around the
tent, the mere prospect of them hearing - no, I don't even want to
think about that. He chuckles softly, amused by my display of
"Still so bad, little angel? And
there I was thinking that after all those weeks you'd have finally
gotten used to having a little audience. Especially after that
miserable game of chess you've just given me - really, if I didn't
know better I'd think that you actually wanted to lose."
I blush furiously and hide my face in
his chest. Why on earth did I ever agree to let a game of chess
decide whether we'd have sex or not?! When he proposed this I should
have known that he was sure that he wouldn't loose - he'd never
intentionally risk his every evening make out sessions no matter how
much I may abhor the idea of having unseen men listen to our having
sex together. I can't remember to have won even a single game.
- I don't know how he does it but from
one second to the other I'm naked, my tunic and trousers a
crumpled pile of silk a few feet away. My back arches as cold
fingertips touch my sensitive skin and trace my spine, enticing a
series of small shivers. Then he proceeds to cup my buttocks,
lifting me a little to ground his hips into my pelvis. Still too
cool to be comfortable his fingers slip between my cheeks and set
to explore my crack, making me hiss as they brush against my
- Before long my head falls forward
and I find myself panting harshly, still trying to avoid making
any sounds loud enough to pierce the thin cloth that is the wall.
But he's making it difficult for me... so difficult...
As he pushes a finger into me my body
instinctively arches forward, rubbing our hard sexes together. Koji
moans appreciatively and pulls me closer still, embedding his finger
even deeper in me. After a few minutes of rocking and rubbing he
simply scoops me into his arms and carries me towards the bed,
laying me down onto heaps of soft pillows. Mere seconds later he's
over me, kissing my chest and stomach and moving deeper yet. The
first few moans are starting to break from my tightly sealed lips so
I bring my hand to my mouth, frantically biting and sucking at m own
flesh. Like this I'm at least not able to make much noise. He has
taken my organ into his mouth and is teasing it mercilessly, tongue
swirling around the sensitive tip. I still don't understand why he
likes doing this so much. He says he enjoys giving me pleasure but
that can't be all, can it? Sometimes I have the impression that he's
trying to make me a part of himself, that he's trying take in all of
me, my scent my taste, the texture of my skin - everything. But it
feels so good... SO GODDAMNED GOOD!!!
As times goes by and he starts to
really suck me I have to bite my hand harder and harder, eventually
tasting the slightly sickening copper flavor of blood. But I
mustn't... I just mustn't....
- My body is spasming uncontrollably
but all of a sudden that searing mouth is gone and I'm untouched,
suffering. With an angry hiss he grabs my wrist and yanks it from
my mouth, staring at the wound my teeth have left there.
"Now what do you think you are
doing?! You are hurting yourself, little angel. You are
Still muttering angrily he rips one
of his shirt apart and starts to dress my wound, wrapping long
straps of linen around my hand. He is ... angry at me? When he's
finished he turns away and moves to site at the edge of the bed,
looking altogether too serious. What is he doing? Why isn't he
"You have won. I won't try to
seduce you any longer. Not if that means that you hurt yourself.
There are some things even I won't do. Go to sleep now, little
angel. We will reach your uncle's castle tomorrow - you will want to
be rested for that."
I swallow and cast my eyes down,
insecure as to what to think of that. He really isn't going to
continue. All of a sudden that thought doesn't seem that attractive
any longer. But ... but I always wanted him to just leave me alone,
haven't I? I'm cold. Shivering I wrap my arms around myself. It's
always been so warm when he was with me. Koji... warmth... I edge
closer to him, resting my head against his back.
"Do you... do you think you
might kiss me while we...? This way I wouldn't be able to make so
He tenses up but at least doesn't try
to avoid my touch, head turning so that his cheek is nestled into my
"No, you wouldn't make so much
noise. But are you sure that this is what you want?"
Though he doesn't see it I smile,
tears gathering in my eyes.
"Idiot. When did it ever matter
what I want?" He laughs a little. That's good. In the next
second I'm under him, his hard sex pressing between my legs. He
doesn't say a word but kisses me hungrily, plundering my mouth.
There's so much need in his kiss...
- I just wish he'd finally undress.
Ah, I know, I'm gonna do it for him. He seems to have got the same
idea for soon four hands are fumbling with his clothes, clumsily
pulling and tearing at those obnoxious garments. Having our lips
practically glued together doesn't make things easier either. They
just won't ... go off! Finally he's naked after all and so
deliciously close to me.
- But there's still space between us,
far too much space. I moan into his mouth and start to writhe
impatiently, trying to draw him into me. He kisses me harder yet,
the moist tip of his sex pressing against my opening. Yes!
Both of us groan when he finally
enters me but fortunately the sounds are muffled by the tight
junction of our lips. Oh God, that's so perfect. His heavy body is
covering me and for once I don't feel trapped but heavenly secure.
He is over me, in me, all around me, shielding me from the cold and
from everything else. It is wrong to feel this way, I know, but
there is not much I can do. And this constant fight against him and
the way he makes me feel is so exhausting ... so very exhausting...
- We are moving smoothly against each
other, months of frequent love making having made us sensitive for
each other's needs. His thrusts are rapidly getting faster and I
do my best to keep up with his pace, frantically lifting my hips
to feel as much of him as possible. With every second it gets more
difficult to breathe, the need for oxygen getting bigger but our
constant kissing keeping us from fulfilling it. But he has
promised me that he wouldn't let me make much noise, he has
He is getting more aggressive yet,
biting and growling in a way that almost scares me. Sensations are
starting to cloud my mind, making it difficult to think straight.
I'm hot, so hot - I think I'm burning! Each of his thrusts sends a
wave of searing pleasure through my tremor shaken body, driving me
closer to the edge. That's it.
- But suddenly he lifts his head and
tears his lips from mine, making my eyes snap open. He's ...? His
harsh breaths sound unnaturally loud in my ears. He has betrayed
me. He grins at me even as he lifts his hand and clamps it over my
mouth, making it difficult to breathe.
"I'm sorry little angel but I'll
... need my breath for what is to come. I take it ... my hand will
do as well?"
Of course he can't see it but I'm
smiling at him, tears glistening in my eyes. So he does care.
Seconds later all of this is forgotten, a haze of pleasure cutting
us off from the rest of the world. I think I'm trying to yell his
- I sigh contently as I feel his warm
body settle down beside me, happy to have something big and
comfortable to snuggle up against. I'm tired, to tired to muster
the energy to as much as blink. But then, there's nothing wrong
with falling asleep now, is it? He has wrapped an arm around me,
hand resting on my hip. It's nice to be lying here like this.
Darkness is taking over.
"You are wrong. What you want -
it does matter."
To be continued...